


Kicking and Screaming

by Smollprince



Series: Marauders' Hogwarts era [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, BAMF Lily Evans Potter, Child Abuse, F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Friendship, Marauders' Era, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Slow Burn, i think thats it...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-02
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2018-09-21 12:10:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 32,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9548474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smollprince/pseuds/Smollprince
Summary: Second Year seems like it's going to be hard for Remus if he isn't careful. Could Snape discover his secret? What if he loses control of his shift, and hurts himself, or worse, someone else? And what is wrong with his friends? They seem to know something important...// AN: This is a series, and it's important to read the first half.((This story is going to have Wolfstar -and some Jily- in it's later parts, so don't read if that isn't your thing.))





	1. Kicking And Screaming

**Author's Note:**

> I OWN NOTHING! J.K Rowling owns the characters and the Wizarding World, and All Time Low owns the song used for the chapter/story title, and the lyrics at the beginning of the chapter!
> 
> Hey, so, first off, there is implied child abuse in this chapter, please don't read if you think it might trigger you! And second, the first two chapters are going to be based on their Summer, I tried to limit it to one, but this one got a little too long for me, so I decided to split it up. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!!!

_Say hello to all my little nightmares_  
_They're right here_  
_I know them well_  
_History repeats itself in phrases_  
_Scribbled in dark places_  
_Like notches on a belt_  
_(They're chasing after you, bro)_  
_I'm chasing after rock and roll_  
_Kicking and screaming_

 

Remus frowns, as his friends and he stand, getting ready to file off the train. Sirius has been quiet since the night before, well, quiet for Sirius, and Remus knows James and Peter have noticed, too. They’ve all been sharing worried looks when Sirius was turned the other way.

Remus wishes there was something he could do to help, but he knows that anything he does now will just make everything worse for Sirius in the long run. He knows Sirius won’t talk to him, at least not with everyone else around.

“We’ll write over Holiday, right?” Peter asks, nervously playing with his shirt.

“Of course, mate. As often as we can.” Sirius says, messing up Peter’s hair.

“Perhaps I can even convince my mum to allow you all to stay at my house sometime.” James says, taking Peter’s trunk down.

“Sounds like fun.” Bellatrix says, peaking her head in, and cooing mockingly. “Too bad little baby Sirius is going to be in deep, deep trouble, I hear.”

“What do you mean?” Sirius asks, feeling ill at the prospect of going home, and his parents already being angry. But, being angry just means they care… Right?

“Oh, well, Lucius told Narcissa and I that after all your little pranks over the school year, your mummy and daddy are quite cross.” She tuts in mock-concern. “I doubt you’ll be doing much visiting.” She cackles, and lets the door slide shut.  
“I’m sure you’ll be fine, mate…” James says after a minute, hand comfortingly on Sirius’ shoulder.

“Y-yeah, Bellatrix is always making up lies to try and trick us. Well, just last month she told me Professor Slughorn needed me in the dungeons, and I missed Charms class.” Peter says, trying to soothe Sirius’ worries.

“I’m fine.” Sirius says, a little cold, already shutting down. He does this when he doesn’t want to feel, he just replays all his best memories.

“Okay, okay.” James says, raising his hands in surrender.

“Let’s just go, before the train leaves with us on it…” Remus says, grabbing his trunk. He doesn’t know what’s going on, but he knows from experience that the worst thing a person can do is pry when you aren’t ready.

The other three nod, and grab their trunks. The outside corridor is mostly empty, seeing as a majority of the students have left already. They pass Bellatrix, and she mimes crying, and James flips her off, and puts his arm around Sirius’ shoulder.

Outside on the platform, many people are standing around, making conversation, or waiting for their children.

“Oh, there are my parents. I’ll write to your lot soon!” Peter says, quickly hugging them, and heading off to a middle-aged couple, who smile, and greet him warmly with hugs, and kisses. Sirius tells himself that his parents have a different way of showing their affection, who cares if he hasn’t been hugged by anyone but his uncle, Andromeda, and Regulus? It doesn’t matter. Not every family is the same. Though, it’s getting harder and harder to reassure himself when everywhere he looks children are being embraced by their family. He stiffens when he catches sight of Regulus and his mum.

“Oh, there are my parents! I’ll write loads, and loads! Have a good holiday you two!” He says, giving each of them a quick, tight hug, and running off to his own parents. Sirius looks away before he could see anything, because if he didn’t, he fears he might cry. And Blacks do not cry.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Siri?” Remus whispers.

“Quite sure, thank you.” Sirius says, tightly.

Remus sighs, and nods. “Alright. Well, I see my parents. I’ll write as soon as I get home… You don’t have to be entirely alone this Summer.” And before he could stop himself, Remus quickly hugs Sirius, and whispers “We all love you Sirius.” And runs off to his parents.

Sirius stands there, a little shocked, and lightly blushing. Sure, he’s used to James’ hugs, and even Peter’s… But Remus, he’s a little more reserved with his affection. You know you’re special when he comforts you physically…

Sirius shakes his head, and swallows thickly, before marching off, head held high, over to his mum and brother.

“Come, don’t dawdle, we haven’t got all day.” She says, voice as cold and distant as ever.

Sirius nods, and Kreacher, their house elf, takes his trunk, and pops home with it, before Sirius could protest. He doesn’t want Kreacher to get his nasty, cold hands on his things. His Hogwarts possessions are the dearest things he owns. He doesn’t want the house elf, who practically worships the ground his mum treads on, to go snooping through his things.

“Come on, Sirius, close your mouth, too.” She says, digging her perfectly manicured, pointed finger nails into his shoulder. His t-shirt stands no chance against the sharp points, and they dig painfully into his skin, opening the old wounds on his shoulder, from her breaking the skin way too many times for him to remember.

He winces, but quickly covers it up, and calmly as he can, he walks to the car that will take them home. He ignores Regulus, who keeps trying to get his attention, and luckily, his mum makes no move to try to talk to him. Though, he’s sure once he gets home he’ll have a repeat of Easter…

He feels his heart rate pick up, and his palms become clammy, and cold, and he’s having trouble breathing. He isn’t sure what’s happening, and it is scaring him. He tries to focus on the world passing them by, until they pull up in front of his house.

“You’ll go up and stay in your room until your father is home.” His mum tells him.

He nods, and walks inside, and up the stairs. He isn’t sure what he’s feeling… Relieved that he has time to ready himself for when his father comes home? Scared for the moment when he actually does? And what is this sick feeling in his stomach?

He throws the top of his trunk open, and rifles through his possessions, trying to make sure everything is still there. Satisfied, he closes it again, and grabs some clothes to change. Maybe if he looks more presentable, dinner tonight won’t be as hard.

\---------

Remus was happy to be home, he feels the wolf in him calm down reasonably, as he takes everything in. The sweet smell of hay from a nearby farm, the cool grass under his bare feet, the old tire swing in his backyard, and, he dreads looking at it, the old cellar, next to the back of the house.

He ignores it, in favor of crossing the yard to the tire swing he spent so much of his childhood on. The late spring sunshine against his face warms him, as he leans his head back, staring up at the sky.

What will he do for the next three months? He knows that his chances of visiting anyone are very slim, unless he’s invited when the full moon is still far off, and even then, his parents are very protective, and would likely say no, seeing as anything could happen.

But the idea of spending the next three months alone with only his parents for company is very sad, especially since he had just gotten used to talking to his friends every day, he doesn’t want to go back to being on his own once more…

He’ll write them often, and he’ll count down the days until he has to get his school supplies from Diagon Alley, and they can all meet up there.

“Remus! I must be off!” Hope calls from the door. “If you get lonely, your grandparents say they would love to have you over!”

“Alright mum!” Remus calls.

“Okay. Don’t forget to have lunch!” She says, and heads for her car. She had hoped she could take the day off, but she had a shipment of books she really needed to unpack.

He supposes he’ll be spending most of the Summer alone, again… That’s fine, he’ll read loads, perhaps come up with some pranks, here and there. Remus sighs, and grabs his bock bag from the ground, and takes out his favorite book: Treasure Island. Remus smiles, as he sinks into the story, for what must be the hundredth time, really.

\-------------

Sirius sits at his desk, hands slightly shaking. He clenches them as he hears his father arrive by floo. He stands solemnly, knowing it’s better to go on choice, than to be called down.

He passes many pictures with his ancestors in them, and ignores their disapproving glances, and mean whispers, his head held high. Who needs their approval? They’ve been dead for years, who cares what they think?

He stops at the door to his father’s study. Inside, he can hear the voices of his mother and his father, whispering quietly, about him, no doubt… He brings his hand up, and it hovers over the door for a few minutes. “Just knock, stupid.” He murmurs to himself, and takes a deep, calming breath, and brings his hand down twice, and waits, with baited breath.

“Enter.” His father calls.

Sirius opens the door, and walks in, trying to hide that his legs were shaking. He stands in the doorway.

“Ah, Sirius. Leave us, Walburga, I need to have this conversation with him. Alone.”

His mother nods, and closes the door behind her, but not before she gives him a cold glare. The echoing sound of wood on wood sounds like a death sentence to Sirius, and he shakily makes his way over to one of the chairs in the room, and pulls it over to his father’s desk.

This room doesn’t have many good memories for him. Most, he can remember, were made because he misbehaved so badly that his mother didn’t want to deal with him anymore, and sent him to his father for worse punishment. There were a few good ones, before he started to disagree with his parents so much, where his father would sit him in a chair of his own, and tell him that when he was the head of his house, when he grew up, he’d have this very study for himself. That always used to appeal to him, but now it just made him feel nauseas.

“I don’t see why you must keep embarrassing us. Betraying the House of Black and getting sorted into Gryffindor is one thing, but constantly pulling these foolish pranks? Having Dumbledore write to us almost weekly about your misbehavior? Honestly Sirius, haven’t we given you everything you have ever wanted? Haven’t we provided for you? Made sure you never went without the best of everything?” Silence. “Answer me!”

“Y-Yes, father…” Sirius jumps.

“Then why? Are you just that ungrateful? Should we show you the life that we could be giving you? Shall I take away your spending money, and all the other things we’ve given you, this summer? Show you how the other side lives? Make you truly miserable?”

Sirius didn’t know how to answer. He wasn’t ungrateful, he just wanted a bit of fun at school, he didn’t mean for it to get him in trouble.

“Answer me!” His father yelled.

“I-I” Sirius stuttered, shrinking back in himself.

“Very well, if you decide to act like an ungrateful brat, we’ll treat you like one. Kreacher!” His father shouted. “Take Sirius up to his room, and see to it that he doesn’t leave until I’ve decided on a proper punishment.”

“Of course, Master Black.” The house elf croaked, and looked all too pleased to be given this specific task. He grabs Sirius tightly around his arm, and apparates them back to his room.

Sirius sits there feeling numb. Should he feel thankful that he wasn’t hit, or given a painful hex? Is that normal?

\--------------

James was very excited to be home. One, he could ride his broomstick, and not have Filch yell at him for an hour, and a weeks-worth of detention -Filch better be ready for when he comes back, he can’t yell at him this time!- two, he could sleep in as late as he wanted to, and three, he had loads of time to do with as he pleases. Though, that luxury was soon gone after only three days, and James began to get bored.

He's taken to spending his time researching about werewolves, when he isn’t spending his time practicing Quidditch. He’s determined on getting drafted for the team.

He’s once again dried up all his research materials, and he’s tempted to ask his father about them… Perhaps he could phrase it as a question for school…

“Hey dad?” James asks, sitting next to his father, who had hair and glasses much like his son’s.

“Yes, James?” He asks, setting the daily profit down on the table. His mum left early this morning to run some errands, and he decided this was the perfect time to ask his questions, without fear that she would say he was too young to know.

“Hypothetically speaking, how could you know someone was a werewolf without asking?” He asks, fidgeting with his shirt sleeve. He really wanted to know, he’d been researching for months, all the while, Remus could have been going through agonizing transformations every month, and who knows what else in between.

“Why do you want to know that?” His father asks, curiously.

“For school purposes! We had a few lessons about them in DADA, I just got curious.” James says, hoping his dad can’t see through the lie.

“Well,” his dad starts, rubbing a hand over his eyes, before putting his glasses back on. “I guess it would depend… You could watch the person, keep an eye on them every month, catalogue their body language the weeks before, and the days after the full moon, watch them, see if they have new scars, if they’re exhausted more often, if they look ill, if they’re in pain, all that.”

“Yeah, but even then, you couldn’t be sure, really, could you? Those could all be factors of something else, couldn’t they?” James asks, leaning forward.

“James, are you sure this is for school? You don’t need to know all of this until at least your fifth year…”

His father is suspicious. He needs to ask the next few questions very carefully. “It is! For school, that is… But just… How could you know?”

His father sighs. “You’d just have to ask, really. You can never be sure until you do.”

James sighs, too, and nods. He was afraid his dad would say that…

“James? Is there something you want to tell me?”

James’ head shoots up, “What? No, no of course not! I have to go now, I need to practice if I want to be good enough to be o the Quidditch team!” He says, and grabs his broom from where it is, propped up against the side of the kitchen door, and bolts outside into the pleasant summer air.

\------

Peter was having a pleasant enough Summer. He spent most of it so far babysitting his many cousins, or writing to his friends, and waiting for them to reply. His older cousins still didn’t believe he was friends with a Potter or a Black, even after he showed them his letters, so he’d get a picture with them when Second Year began! It’ll show them!

His mum wanted him to volunteer down at the library where his aunt worked, and he is starting to think it’s because she wants him to do something “productive” this Summer. He wishes he could have a moment to himself! It was July, and he’d already spent June, and the majority of this month watching his many, many cousins… He was so thankful to be an only child.

“Peter! We’re going to be late!” She shouts up the stairs.

“Coming mum!” Peter shouts back, putting the finishing touches on his letter to James. He ties it to his owl’s leg, and sends him through the window, before grabbing his backpack, and trudging down the stairs. He really hopes his entire summer isn’t the same thing.

\------

Remus’ first transformation went better than any had since probably Summer of last year. His wolf was happy to be back in his territory, and he was relaxed, and mostly well rested. It would be ideal… If only he wasn’t so lonely. Most days, when he wasn’t helping in his mum’s bookshop, he was reading at home by himself, or helping his grandmother in her garden. And it wasn’t that he didn’t love his parents and grandparents… He just missed having friends his age.

He still wrote to them at least once a week, and James wanted them to visit in the last week of August, which, with Remus’ luck, just so happened to fall in the week of the full moon… He wrote, and apologized, saying he was too busy the entire Summer, but he was free to go to Diagone Alley with them.

He wished he could just tell them… All this lying was exhausting, and maybe if he could, they could come visit him, and then he wouldn’t be as lonely as he is. He knows he’s feeling sorry for himself, but it’s not like he has much else to do.

He was helping his mum out in her bookshop one afternoon, when the bell on the door rings, signaling that someone had come in. Remus and his mum turn, and welcome the one-person Remus had hoped would never come into this shop. Severus Snape, and who he supposed was his mother.

“Hello! Welcome to the bookshelf, can I help you find anything today?” His mum chimes.

“Oh, no…” Mrs. Snape says quietly, while Severus looks from Remus to his mum, making the connection, and then smirking to himself.

The two of them wander into the shelves to browse. “Remus, could you stock these for me, please?” His mum asks, pushing a cart over to him, with a load of books that came in this morning.

“Yeah,” He said, taking hold of it, ignoring the pain in his ribs, and going deeper into the stacks, hoping Snape and his mum would leave before he came out. Fate was unkind to him, though.

“I thought your mum would look worse, seeing as you leave to visit her once a month… But she looks quite lively, indeed… In fact, she looks far healthier than you do… Are you sure you’re not the sick one?” Snape asks, leaning against the shelves.

“I-I’m getting over a cold…” Remus says quietly, still focused on shelving the books.

“I’m sure.” He says, smirk growing.

“Can I help you find anything? Or are you just here to harass me?” Remus asks, spinning around to face him.

They both hear Severus’ name being called. “No, I’m leaving, actually. The moon full moon was very beautiful last night.” He says, spinning on his heal.

Remus lets out a breath, and leans against the shelf in front of him.

“Remus? Are you okay, sweetheart?” His mum asks, coming up to stand next to him. He just nods his head. “Remus, what is it? Are you feeling faint? I told you you shouldn’t be up so soon, especially seeing as last night was the full moon.” She whispers.

Remus shakes his head, lifting it and looking at his mum. “It was nothing… Just someone from Hogwarts…”

“Oh… Sweetheart, he doesn’t bully you, does he? Because we can tell Dumbledore, and he can surely do something.”

“No, it’s fine mum, really.”

She nods, though Remus is sure she doesn’t buy his lie.

\--------  
The first few weeks of Summer were Hell for Sirius. His meals were restricted, and he was given chicken broth, bread and water, while his family had roast, or turkey, or whatever other fine meal they decided to flaunt, until they worked him to submission. He wasn’t allowed to leave the house the first month, either, unless it was in the backyard, accompanied by Kreacher. The start of July, when his behavior had satisfied his parents, they let up a little.

The moment Sirius got the letter from James, asking if he could come over for the last two weeks of August, he knew he’d have to seriously suck up to his parents, make them believe he was sorry for the pranks, if he were to even begin to think he could go. So, he stopped teasing Regulus, he stopped throwing peas at the paintings of his ancestors, or antagonizing the children of his mother’s friends, and be the perfect heir of the Black House his parents wanted. And if it didn’t work, he’d up his game, and pester them until they practically threw him at the Potters, whichever worked.

Luckily, it didn’t have to come to the latter, and he was slightly thankful, because he could save some of the ideas for Christmas Holidays, to really get back at them. He was really looking forward to going to the Potter’s, he was tired of the dull, bleakness of his house, and the constant badgering of his parents to be better, to sit up straight, to not talk with his mouth full, or leave his laundry on the floor. Or Regulus’ glares, and the silent treatment he’s dead set on giving Sirius.

Sirius had hoped Regulus would be excited about his First Year at Hogwarts, and be bugging Sirius with so many questions until his head hurt, and he’d shout at his little brother to leave him alone… But he’d got the opposite, and he couldn’t believe he was upset about it… He wishes he could have that bond with Regulus, he wishes he would ask him all about his own first year, and he could tell Regulus about the dormitory he has in Gryffindor, or about the classes, and how fun Magic was, or about watching the Quidditch games, or the lazy weekends he and his friends spent coming up with pranks… But Regulus didn’t ask, and Sirius knew, even if he had, Regulus wouldn’t have approved of the responses Sirius gave.

“Mother?” Sirius starts. It’s the third of August, and he knows he couldn’t wait any longer to ask. “Could I spend the last two weeks of August at the Potter’s?” He keeps his back straight, and head held high. His mother always hated how meek he got when he was frightened.

“The Potter’s? Is this why you’ve been acting so well recently? Well, I suppose you could have chosen a lesser family to associate yourself with… If you don’t disrupt my tea this afternoon, then fine. I could use a few weeks quiet.”

He tries to tell himself the last part doesn’t hurt, and he even convinces himself later that it’s okay, because he’ll see his friends soon! He’ll see James, and Peter, and Remus, well, they’ll see Remus when they get their things from Diagone Alley… But he cannot wait.

He smiles and thanks her, before rushing to his room to make himself presentable. He could tolerate an afternoon with Lucius Malfoy’s ugly face, as long as he could spend time with his friends soon.

\--

He spoke too soon. It seems that Lucius was aware that he couldn’t act up, and was upping the level of annoying him, of trying to get a rise out of him.

“So, Sirius…” He says, leaning back in his chair. “How does it feel to know you and I will be family after this Summer?”

“What?” He asks, dumbfounded. Did he miss something?

“Oh, but didn’t you know? Your cousin, Narcissa, will be marrying me this Winter.” He practically flaunts it.

“B-But she’s still at Hogwarts…” Sirius protests. He looks over to where she sits, lithe, and petite, golden hair shining. She looks away, a blush dusting her cheeks.

“That’s why I said this Winter, over Christmas Holidays, and we’ll be expecting you there, too.” Lucius laughs.

Sirius just glowers. If Narcissa wishes to marry that stuck-up pig, that was her business, but why suck him into it? Why must he attend, when he couldn’t even go to Andromeda’s? He would never forgive himself for missing it… At least his uncle Alphard went… At least she had some kind of family there for her…

He spent the rest of the afternoon in that position. He feared if he moved, he’d snap. Regulus seemed like he wished he were somewhere else, too, his eyebrows pinched, and mouth tight in a fake smile. Sirius wished he was allowed to take Regulus aside like he used to, and they’d go hide in another room, and whisper, and make fun of their family, or the guests who took themselves too seriously.

But Regulus only exchanges small talk with him anymore, and Sirius is too prideful for ignoring his apologies over Easter… He wishes he could take it all back… But, what’s done is done, and he’ll be gone soon.

Sirius knows his family is messed up, seeing as they marry cousins, he just didn’t expect them to marry off Narcissa so young… She’s only sixteen… He shakes his head. The old families are always messed up. He wouldn’t be like them. He isn’t marrying his cousins, he isn’t marrying underage, or to keep the family name, or for money. He’ll marry for love, and love alone.


	2. House of Gold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I OWN NOTHING! J.K Rowling owns the characters and the Wizarding World, and Twenty-One Pilots owns the chapter title and lyrics at the beginning. 
> 
> Hey, I hope you guys like this chapter, it was really fun to write, doing everyone's families, and all. 
> 
> Enjoy <3

_She asked me, "Son, when I grow old,_  
_Will you buy me a house of gold?_  
_And when your father turns to stone,_  
_Will you take care of me?"_  
  
I will make you queen of everything you see,  
_I'll put you on the map,_  
_I'll cure you of disease_

 

James was so excited! Sirius was coming over today! He had cleaned up his entire house, even after his mum said all he had to do was tidy up his room, and then proceeded to laugh when he grabbed the mop, and mopped the entire kitchen floor.

He sat in front of the fireplace in his living room, and stared, as he waited for Sirius. It wouldn’t be too long, now, and then the real fun could begin.

“Watching the fireplace won’t make him arrive sooner, son.” His father said with a chuckle.

“You don’t know that!” James says with a laugh.

His father shakes his head, a fond look on his face. “Just don’t stay there the whole day, you know we aren’t expecting him for at least another hour.”

James just nods, and pretends he’s reading. There was a reason he was bringing Sirius a whole week earlier than he invited Peter, and Remus, -who he was still sad couldn’t make it-, because he knew something was up in his family, Sirius had almost said as much on Easter Holiday, and he wanted to get him out as early as he could, and he had originally asked for July, but his mum said that he had to let Sirius see his family for at least a little of Summer Holiday. So, he settled for the two weeks in August.

Just like his father said, an hour did pass of him just sitting and watching the fireplace, but as James was beginning to think maybe he should go and help his mum with lunch, a cloud of green smoke comes billowing out of the fireplace, and when it clears, Sirius is standing there, grinning, even though he’s covered in soot.

“Sirius!” He cries, jumping up, and helping his friend out of the fireplace.

“Hello, James!” He says, he gets a mischievous sort of grin, and then hugs him, getting soot all over him.

“Ack! No!” James shouts, and tries to dodge Sirius, but Sirius is too quick, and wipes soot all over his face.

“What’s going on in here? Oh, you must be Sirius. Hello, dear.” James’ mother says, smiling, and taking his trunk off the mantle, and dusts some dirt off both the boys, and laughs. “Why don’t you two go wash up? Lunch will be ready in a moment. Also, why don’t you show Sirius where he’ll be sleeping, too.” She says, kindly.

“Alright, mum. Come on, Sirius.” James says, taking his hand, and dragging Sirius up the stairs.

Sirius looks all around, taking in everything. He notices that even though it’s very nice, it isn’t as… pristine, as his house. In his house, everything looks practically new, untouched, cold even; here, it looks lived in, homey, and warm. Sirius knows which he likes more, and he smiles to himself, seeing a fat, orange cat sunning himself by a bay window.

“Here’s the bathroom,” James points to a door, “and here’s my bedroom, and yours in that room.” He points to another one. “Don’t tell my parents, but there’s a secret door through the closet.” James whispers, grinning.

“Nice!” Sirius says, smiling widely. They both have a sparkle in their eyes, one that predicts trouble for James’ parents over the next two weeks.

After washing up, and putting Sirius’ trunk in his room, they head down for the lunch, where James’ parents were waiting.

“This must be Sirius. How has your summer been?” James’ father asks.

“It was good, thank you, Mr. Potter.” Sirius says, smiling.  
“Oh, please, just Harold. Mr. Potter makes me feel ancient.” He says with and playful wink, and smile. Sirius knows where James gets his charm, now.

“Alright,” Sirius smiles again. He knows he’s going to like it here.

\-----

Remus spent much time thinking over the summer. He’d have to do a better job at covering his tracks this autumn. He couldn’t leave so many trails to follow this time, if Snape could find out, who’s to say someone else couldn’t?

“Here we are.” His grandma says, brining over a pitcher of lemonade to where he was working in her garden, weeding the vegetable garden.

“Thanks, grandma.” He smiles.

“You’re welcome, sweetie.” She smiles, and settles across from him, weeding the side he wasn’t. “How was school last semester?”

“Really fun. I was one of the top in my class, along with a few of my friends.” Remus tells her.

“That’s good dear.” She goes quiet, then asks, “And-And your transformations?” She whispers.

Remus frowns, and looks down. “They’re better when I’m home… At school, they’re kind of… out of control. I can’t really control them, and the wolf doesn’t like the place I transform all that well…”

“I’m very sorry to hear that, love… I could see you had quite a few new scars when you came back… I just wish we could do something…” She says, grey eyebrows pinched sadly.

“Me too… Maybe they’ll find something in a few years…” Remus says, though he knows it’s all wishful thinking.

“Maybe…” She agrees, and they go back to tending the vegetable garden.

That night, Remus sits in his room, reading, when he hears a tap at his window, and he goes to see who, or what, it is. Looking out, Remus sees Sirius’ beautiful Horned Owl, and he opens the window, and lets him in. He affectionately nips at Remus’ finger. Remus smiles, and goes to get him some water, and puts it in the bowl he keeps in his room for this occasion, and lets him drink, while Remus reads his letter, warm August air drifting in from the window, playing with his hair.

Dear Remus:

I’m sorry to hear you’ll be too busy to come over to James’ house. We can’t wait to see you in Diagon Alley, though. As soon as we get our letters, we’ll go, yeah? Then we can meet up for a little while, at least.

I heard from James that Snivellus came to your mum’s book store… He didn’t bother you too much, did he? We could easily use our supply of Dung bombs on him on the train to Hogwarts, if you wanted? I can see you shaking your head disapprovingly, it was a joke, don’t worry.

Did you hear James is really serious about signing up for the Quidditch team? I mean, he talked about it a lot, but as soon as I got here, he put me on practice duty with him, and he hasn’t let up, we must have played a thousand games! He owes me!

He wants me to sign up with him, but I don’t know… Maybe I will… Who knows?

I need to go, James wants to go into town with his mum. I can’t wait to see you soon.

~Sirius.

Remus smiles, and rereads the letter, before writing a quick response, saying that if he wanted to, Sirius should go for it, and just updating him on his life, and that he should, under no circumstances, drop Dung Bombs on Snape.

He ties his letter to the owl’s leg, and sends him off, but sits at the window a little longer, wishing he could go with the owl, before he reminded himself that he made the decision for no more moping this Summer, before going back to his book.

\-----

The whole week was probably the best week of Sirius’ life, he decides, maybe even better than the weeks he spent at Hogwarts. But it also left him very confused. Watching James and his parents, and the way they talk to each other, the gentle touches, - they are always touching in some way- hands on the small of the back as they pass each other, shoulder squeezes, hugs, kisses, caresses, they were so affectionate… Is this how families act? Then how do you explain how his family acts, with harsh, sharp, cold words, mean glares and bruising touches? Isn’t that how families act, too? He isn’t sure, but he silently finds himself liking the Potter family’s way of showing affection better than his family’s, even though he felt guilty after thinking it, and had to look around quickly, before realizing he was far away from his family, he could think what he wanted here, and not be punished.

What got him most confused was when he and James were roughhousing in the living one afternoon after he got there, rolling around, trying to pin the other one to the ground, they knocked over a cup, and instead of yelling, Mrs. Potter just laughed, and shook her head, telling them to take it outside, before magicking the cup back to normal. No yelling, no hitting, no hexes… Just a smile… Why was that? What was different between both familied that one acted one way, and the other the other way? Was it status? That, even though the Potters’ family was old, it was the Ancient House of Black? He shuddered at the name. He hated the name, hated it, and he didn’t know why.

He and James were out playing Quidditch while they waited for Peter to come, after Mrs. Potter told them to go outside, and not waste the beautiful day scheming for pranks, and to use the sunlight wisely; or before they know it, they’ll be back in school.

“Come on Sirius, like you mean it!” James shouts, sending the Quaffle his way, and Sirius does block it this time. He could be doing better than he is, but he enjoys seeing how red-faced James gets, and the little vein that pops out on his temple, it’s rather funny for a twelve-year-old.

“There you go!” James shouts, and sends another Sirius’ way, which Sirius blocks again, an easy, lazy sort of grin on his face. “Yes!”

“James! Sirius! Peter is here!” James mother shouts up at them, and they look down to see him, smiling a little, and waving.

“Hey, Pete!” Sirius says, and steers his broom to land, James following suit, and they hug Peter.

“When did you get here?” James asks, smiling.

“Just now, my mum dropped me off.” Peter says, rubbing his arm self-consciously.

“So, you didn’t take floo? Wise choice, I never liked how dizzy it makes me.” Sirius says, laughing. “Do you want to play Quidditch with us?”

“Really?” Peter asks, eyes wide.

“Of course, mate!” James says smiling, and slapping him on the back.

“Thanks!” He says, taking the spare brooms from James, and they push off from the ground, and take to their positions, and play as well as they could, with only three people.

They play until it got dark, and they were all very sweaty and hungry, and then they head inside. They wash up quickly, and head to the kitchen, where James’ mom was cooking with the radio on low, humming to herself, listening to James’ father talk about work.

“Ah, here they come.” James’ father says, smiling. “How was your Quidditch game?”

“I don’t know. We lost track of the points… We aren’t sure who won.” He laughs.

“That’s nice. Dinner is almost ready, why don’t you three go set the table?”

“Alright, mum.” James says, taking a stack of plates, and the other two take cups and silverware, and follow him.

“I need to talk to you two later… But when my parents are in bed.” James whispers, setting the plates in the right spots.

“What’s wrong, mate?” Sirius asks, sitting forks and knives where James set the plates.

“It’s about Remus, but I can’t risk my parents hearing.” James says, looking at each of them in turn.

“Remus?” Peter asks, worried, eyebrows pinched in a frown. “Did something happen?”

“You could say that… But later, I’ll tell you later.” He whispers hurriedly, as his father comes out, wand lifting the plates of food across the room, his mum lifting the drinks.

Sirius and Peter nod, and James can see something in Sirius’ eyes, something that tells him Sirius probably knows something, too.

\-----

Staring up at the glow in the dark stars on his roof, -Remus used to love them, now he feels like they’re mocking him, with the little moon stickers among the stars- Remus wonders what his friends are doing, what he could be doing with them, if he was normal. But as it is, he isn’t, and he needs to get up, he’ll be transforming in an hour or two. But he aches. He aches so badly, and rolling over takes so much energy, he doubts he could summon it, even if he wanted to.

He sighs, and lifts his head, looking out the window. The good thing about Summer is that moon doesn’t rise as early as it does in Winter, or maybe that’s a bad thing, he hasn’t decided… He talked to Lily on the telephone, he isn’t entirely sure how she got his phone number… but she asked if she could come over tomorrow, and after explaining to his parents about her, they agreed she could come over, and they’d all go to Diagon Alley, if he was feeling up to it.

He smiles, at least he has that to look forward to, he supposes. “Remus! You need to get ready!” His father calls from downstairs.

He groans, and slowly, very slowly, pushes himself up on his elbows. He whimpers slightly, as the skin tight on his body aches, and his bones throb. He pushes himself to his feet, and staggers out of his room, down the stairs, where his parents are in the kitchen, sitting at the table.

“Oh, sweetheart.” His mum says, coming over to him, and kneeling in front of him, brushing some hair back from his forehead. “Are you sure you can make it down there on your own?” She whispers.

“Yes,” He croaks. “I’ll be fine.”

“You don’t look fine, Remus…” His father says, coming to stand next to him. “Here, just let me help-

“Really, you shouldn’t. The wolf doesn’t like foreign scents, especially human ones, in his den.” Remus rasps.

“A-alright…” Hope says, though he can tell she still wants to argue, but isn’t for his sake.

He nods, and heads for the door, and once he steps out in the warm, still night air, he can tell this night will be difficult. He can small nearby rabbits, and it’s the perfect night for hunting, he can feel the wolf feeling restless in his chest, whining, not wanting to go down in the cellar, he wants to run, and hunt, and play, but it isn’t safe. So, he opens the cellar, and heads down, down into the heart of it, and watches as the light is extinguished, as his father closes the cellar door, and locks them, leaving Remus with only his thoughts.

\-------

James, Sirius and Peter offer to do the washing that night, hoping it could get his parents up to bed earlier than usual. It did, and once they said goodnight, with warnings not to stay up too late, since they’d be going shopping for their Hogwarts things the next day, then they went to bed.

They sat down in the living room, since it was the furthest from his parents’ bedroom, and James’ felt uncharacteristically nervous. Because, what if they didn’t believe him, or worse, they became scared of Remus?

He took a deep breath, and turned to them. “Have either of you noticed something weird about Remus?” He started, brow pinched in frown, hoping maybe one of them noticed, and he wouldn’t have to say it.

“What do you mean? Yeah, he’s a little weird…” Sirius says, “I mean, he reads first thing in the morning, who does that?”

James huffs a small laugh. “That’s not what I meant, Sirius.” He shakes his head. “I mean, have you noticed the scars, and how once a month they get worse? He gets more, and more, and how it always makes him more exhausted, and cranky, and he always goes to visit his mum on the full moon… Don’t tell me I’m the only one…” says James, feeling ill.

“What are you saying?” Peter asks.

“No, I noticed… I just hoped it wasn’t true… that I was the only one… I guess you noticed, too?” Sirius asks, huffing a sigh, and running a hand through his growing hair.

“Guys? What do you mean? Are you saying Remus is a- is a werewolf?” Peter squeaks.

“Yes, Pete… Though, I suppose we can never know until we ask… But, yeah, I’m pretty sure he is.” James says.

“But-But how?” Peter stutters.

“Well, obviously, he was bit some time ago.” Sirius says. “Do you think anyone else knows?”

“No? Unless… Do you think Evans knows? Maybe that’s what he meant when he said she knew something he couldn’t tell us…” James thinks to himself.

“Are we going to tell him we know?” Sirius asks.

“I don’t know… I think we should, but only when the time is right.” James says.

“The full moon is tonight, lads…” Peter tells them, pointing out the window.

“Is that why he can’t be here?” Sirius whispers.

“Must be… And he’s going out tomorrow to Diagon Alley? How does he do that?” James asks, throwing his head back against the couch.

“We’ll have to buy him a lot of chocolate when we go. He seems to like it a lot, right?” Peter suggests.

“Good idea mate! We should go to bed if we’re going to be ready.” James says, heaving himself up off the couch. “And let’s not mention any of this to him until we know it’s the right time… Like, when we’re back at Hogwarts, yeah?”

“Good idea, mate.” Sirius says, pulling Peter up with him, and they all head upstairs.

\----

Remus wished he didn’t have to move, but he needed to get dresses, they were picking Lily up, and they were all heading to Diagon Alley, because Lily’s sister needed their dad to drive her somewhere. Remus groans tiredly, and rolls out of bed.

Today’s transformation wasn’t as bad as it could have been, he thought it would be worse, and granted, he broke three ribs, dislocated his right wrist, and gained four new scars, two of which were on his face, one on his eyebrow, the other on his jaw.

He pulls on a t-shirt, and some shorts, before deciding to slip his feet into sandals instead of his tennis shoes, and grabbing his wand, and back pack, before heading downstairs.

“Do you want a quick breakfast before we leave?” His dad asks, as he stands at the stove, scrambling some eggs.

“Thank you.” Remus says, smiling lightly, as he pours himself some milk, and sits quietly at the table.

“Are you sure you want to go today? We could go tomorrow.” Hope suggests.

“I’m sure… I want to see my friends, they’ll be there today, too.” Remus says, lifting his head, and smiling a little at his mum, too.

She smiles back at him, and rakes her fingers through his thick caramel hair, the color of hers. “You need a haircut.” She muses, and presses a kiss to his forehead.

He laughs, shaking her hand out of his hair. “I like it this long.” He tells her.

“What? You like it long enough to not be able to see out of it?” She jokes.

“Yes.” He says petulantly, and laughs.

His father laughs, and places a plate of eggs and toast in front of him, and ruffles his hair. “I agree with Remus, it suits him.”

“See?” Remus tells his mum, eyes wide, and laughing. He feels better around these two, they were his original pack, and as much as his wolf is longing to see his friends again, there is nothing like sitting around, passing lively conversation with his parents. It calms his wolf the fastest.

The ride to Lily’s is surprisingly short, if he knew how close she lived, he wouldn’t have spent the whole summer alone, but at least he knows for next summer, right? The comforting hum of the engine, and the crunch of the car wheels on the gravel lull him into an almost sleep, and he only rouses when his friend slides into the seat next to him.

“Hey, Remus. How are you feeling? Oh, your poor hand.” She frets, frowning at his bandaged hand.

“It’s nothing, I’m fine. Really, Lily.” He laughs.

She glares, then laughs, “Hello, I’m Lily Evans.” She introduces herself to his parents.

He looks up, and realizes his mum was watching them with a smile. “Hello, dear. I’m Hope Lupin, and this is my husband Lyell Lupin. How are you this morning?” Remus always admired her ability of being able to make conversation with anyone, and anywhere she was.

“I am well, thank you, Mrs. Lupin.” Lily smiles brighter.

“Oh, your eyes are very beautiful, dear. Such a bright shade of green!” Hope says, turning more in her seat to look at Lily’s bright green eyes.

Lily blushes. “Oh, thank you.” She’s smiling even wider, and Remus can’t help but smile, too. He always thought her eyes were beautiful, too. They were very expressive, you could always tell when she was happy, sad, angry.

“You’re the only witch in your family, right?” Hope asks.

“Yes, ma’am.” Lily nods.

“That’s nice. I’m a muggle -that’s the word, right, Lyell?” He nods at her. She smiles, pleased that she remembered. “Right, yes, I’m a muggle, but I do enjoy watching the wizard world, it really is amazing, isn’t it?”

Lily nods, head bobbing so hard some of her hair flies out of her two braids. “It really is! I’m enjoying learning so much!”

“That’s right! Remus told me you got the best marks in almost all of your classes! Congratulations!” Hope says.

“All except Charms, that one Remus beat me in.” Lily says, turning to smile at Remus.

Remus blushes. He may or may not have told his parents…

“Remus John Lupin…” Hope starts. “Why didn’t you tell us? Don’t you dare say that you forgot! That isn’t something you forget!”

“I don’t know… It’s not a big deal…” Remus protests.

“Not a big- Remus!” Lily exclaims

Lyall laughs at the two women, and the sight of his son’s quickly reddening face in his mirror. “Congratulations, son.” He says, winking at him. Remus managed a small smile, and slowly sinks in his seat, accepting that he was going to be reprimanded the entire way to Diagon Alley.

After they got their money from Gringotts, they headed for Flourish and Blotts, to get all the books they need, and he hopes that they run into his friends on the way. He’d really like to introduce his friends to his parents, well, they already met James, but he could introduce Sirius and Peter, too.

“Here are the books we’ll need for DADA. Who do you think we’ll have this year, since Professor Fletcher is gone?” Lily asks.

“I don’t know… Hopefully he stays.” Remus jokes.

“I doubt it.” Remus’ father says, handing them their Second-Year Potions’ books “There hasn’t been a lasting DADA Professor in years.”

“So, it’s true?” Lily asks, “What everyone says, I mean, that the position is cursed and nobody can ever keep it longer than a year.”

“As far as I know, yes.” He says, smiling.

When they have all their books, they go to get their Positons supplies, and run into James, Sirius, and Peter. “Remus!” Sirius shouts, seeing him coming around the corner.

Remus smiles, and limps as fast as he can, and is met halfway there, and Sirius hugs him, and soon they’re crushed between Peter and James, too.

Remus huffs out a laugh. “Hello.” He mumbles, face crushed in Sirius’ shoulder.

“Hullo!” James says, laughing.

They break a part, and Lily comes over and she and Sirius begin to catch up, since they were pretty good friends, too.

“How was your Summer, so far, Remus?” Peter asks, practically bouncing.

“Pretty good, I’ve been mostly working in my mum’s bookshop.” Remus tells him. “And you?”

“I was volunteered to work at my library.” Peter says, and grimaces. “Way too many little children.”

James and Remus laugh, “That’s brilliant.” James says, smiling.

“Sirius?” Remus asks. Sirius’ head whips around, and looks questioningly. “How was your Holiday?”

Sirius shrugs. “My cousin Narcissa is marrying that ugly pig Malfoy this winter.”

“No!” James says, mouth gaping in mock-surprise. “Who would have thought? The two of them? But they’re always all over each other?”

The other three and even Lily chuckle at his antics.

“Come on, you lot.” Hope says, from where she and Lyall were talking to the Potters’.

The five of them follow the adults to the Apothecary shop, where they get their Potions’ ingredients, and Remus a new cauldron.

“Are you ready for another year?” Hope asks them while they’re looking at Armadillo Bile.

“I dare you to sniff it.” James whispers to Peter.

“Yes, Mrs. Lupin.” Sirius says, keeping his back to James and Peter, hoping to cover them.

“I can see them. I dare you, too, Peter.” She says, winking.

Peter gapes at them. “Do it, Pete, do i-i-i-i-t!” Sirius chants.

Lily and Remus laugh, and Peter takes a bottle off the shelf, and uncap it, before bracing himself. “A big sniff, really take it in!” James whispers. He sends James a withering glare, but does so, nonetheless, and gags.

“Why does it smell so bad?” He asks, eyes watering.

The others burst out into laughter, clutching their sides and stomachs.

They stop for lunch when they finish shopping, and James and Sirius both offer to buy Remus a chocolate sundae, and Peter wants to chip in. “But why? What for?” He asks, confused.

“Well, because you’re you, Remus. And you like chocolate.” James says, like it’s an obvious reason.

Remus shakes his head. “I made some money over the summer, why don’t we all chip in and buy the largest sundae to share?” He offers.

“Brilliant idea!” Sirius says, patting Remus on the back, gently.

“How has your Quidditch practice been going?” Remus asks, when they have sat down. Lily, Sirius and he are on one side of the booth, and James and Peter are on the other.

“Oh, are you signing up when we get back?” Lily asks, passing the spoons out.

“Yeah, and really well. I’m trying to get Sirius to sign up with me, but he keeps refusing.

“I think it’s fun, but we also don’t play with bludgers. Sorry, but getting a concussion isn’t exactly my idea of a good time, thanks.” Sirius says, laughing. “But I do have an idea, you’ll just have to wait.” Sirius says, a hint of mystery in his eyes.

“What? What are you talking about?” James asks.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Sirius says, popping the cherry into his mouth.

“Agh, no fair! Secrets are no fun unless you’re the one who has them!” James laughs, spooning some ice cream into his mouth.

“Hey, Remus, how are you feeling today?” Sirius whispers, once James, Peter and Lily get into a conversation about Herbology.

“Alright, thanks.” Remus says, looking like he could lay his head down and sleep right there, if he tried.

“Really? Because you look dead on your feet.” Sirius says, touching Remus’ arm. “And this…” He says, grabbing Remus’ hand gently, and linking their fingers under the table.

Remus stiffens, but doesn’t pull away. “I’m fine, just a little tired. This trip was a little exhausting is all.” Remus tells him. “Really, Siri, I’m fine.”

Sirius bites his lip, but nods. “Alright… Just, you know you could tell us anything, and we’d accept you, yeah?”

Remus’ brow furrows. “Yeah… What’s brought this on, Sirius?”

“Nothing, nothing… Just what you told me at the start of this Summer… I just wanted to let you know it goes both ways, okay? You can tell us anything, and we’ll love you still, okay?”

Remus’ face softens. “Of course.” He smiles, and lays his head onto Sirius’ shoulder, and closes his eyes.

Sirius tries not to stiffen up, and to be as comfortable as he can for Remus. Can a human shoulder be all that comfortable? He thinks. Maybe? He doesn’t know…

When the sun begins to fade, and Lily says she has to be home soon, they all agree to head home. “I’ll see you lot in a little more than a week, yeah?” Remus says, hugging them, though he tries not to lift his arms too much, so he doesn’t pull his healing ribs.

“Yeah, you too!” James says, hugging him back.

“It was nice to meet you three. I’m glad my son has found a nice group of friends like you three.” Hope says, smiling.

“It was nice meeting you both, too.” Sirius says, politely.

She smiles, having taken a liking to Sirius. He was nice, and she could see how gentle he was with Remus, without looking like he pitied him. She wonders if he might have an idea that something was different about her son.

They load their things into the trunk of the car, and pile in themselves, and head home, Led Zepplin playing softly in the background.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like it! Tbh, the next chapter could be tomorrow, or next week, depends on school lol xD The next chapter will be Hogwarts, again, tho :))
> 
> My tumblr ((smol--prince)) is always open to song suggestions, questions about this fic, talk about wolfstar, or any other fandom, or anything else! You're always welcome!
> 
> Constructive criticism is encouraged! I'm always trying to improve! Thank you to everyone who read/bookmarked/reviewed/left kudos!! It really means a lot to me! <3
> 
> ~Elliott


	3. King Of The World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I OWN NOTHING !!! J.K Rowling owns the characters and he Wizarding World, and Young Rising Sons own the chapter title and the lyrics at the beginning!
> 
> I hope you guys like this chapter, its mostly a filler <3

_All the tales_  
_That have never been told_  
_Build up fires to keep away the cold_  
_We'll sing songs_  
_That will never get old_  
_We'll be here forever_

_We'll rule the world together forever_  
_With hearts of gold who needs any treasure?_  
_We'll take our time just living our lives_  
_Our castle in the sky_  
_If I was king of the world_

Remus couldn’t wait to be back at Hogwarts. He really enjoyed being home, and he’d miss his parents, but he was ready to learn again, and be among his friends.

He was practically bouncing in his seat, on the way to the train station. His mum laughs. “We’ll be there soon, love.” She smiles at him.

Remus grins back. “I can’t wait.”

The windows were rolled down, and the pleasant late Summer air rushing in his face, messing up his hair, and he has the urge to stick his head out the window, but he decides against doing so, it’s a little too much animal instinct for him.

The country rolls away to city, all buildings, cars, and way too many people rushing around in dark colored suits. Remus doesn’t know why, but after being so long on his own, in the country where there was hardly any people, it has him slightly freaked out, feeling strange in his own skin, like he needs to run away, to hide…

When they get to the train station, Remus gets out of the car, and joins his father at the trunk of the car, getting his chest out, and onto a trolley. The crowd on the platform is stifling, he can barely breath, he thinks it’s because he’s excited, but it feels like something more…

Rushing as fast as they can through the crowded train station, he can slightly see platform nine and three courters, and his heart leaps in his chest. He is so excited to be back. “Alright, you first, Remus.” His father says, a hand on his back.

Remus nods, determination on his face, and he runs through the barrier, he keeps his eyes open this time, a smile wide on his face. When he gets through, the excited sounds all around him feel only slightly too stifling, but he hardly cares, he’s going back!

He looks around the train, but he can’t see anyone he recognizes, so he turns to his parents, and smiles. “Well, you better get on, yeah?” His dad says, smiling, too.

“I’ll write you!” Remus says, hugging both them. “Bye!”

“We love you.” His mum smiles, and gives him a little push in the direction of the train.

He smiles, and waves, and pushes his trolley to the train, and when he’s trying to get his trunk up there, a voice asks. “You need a little help there, mate?” He turns and sees Michael Wood.

“Oh, yes, thank you.” He laughs, blushing a little. Why was he blushing? He shakes his head, and takes an end of the trunk, and lifts.

“How was your Holiday?” Michael asks him, as they move down the train.

“Pretty good. I mostly helped my mum in her bookshop. And you?” Remus asks, looking up at him.

“It was lovely. My dad and I went to a Quidditch game.” He tells Remus.

“Really? Which team?” Remus asks, even though he didn’t follow Quidditch all that closely, James and his dad told him a little bit about it, so he could at least hold a conversation.

“The Chudley Cannons and Falmouth Falcons. The Falcons won, of course.” Michael says, shaking his head, smiling. “The one thing you can count on them to do.” Michael winks, and Remus feels weird in his stomach, and looks away.

Remus gives a breathy laugh, and nods. “That’s what my friend, Sirius, always says, too.”

Michael nods. “Smart lad, Sirius.”

Remus smiles, tightly. “Oh, this is the compartment my friends and I decided to meet at.” Remus tells him. “Thank you for the help, Michael.” He smiles brightly.

“Of course, Remus. It was good catching up. See you at the feast!” Michael waves, and walks back to his compartment.

Remus smiles to himself, and looks down at his hands in his lap, feeling oddly light, and stays that way, until he hears a crash down the hall, and a round of loud laughter. He’s up, and out of their compartment faster than a snitch at the beginning of a Quidditch game. Outside, he can see Sirius and James in a heap on the ground, and their trunks one on top of the other, stuff spilled out. Several students around them are laughing, and Peter and Lily are trying to contain the mess, while Lily scolds them for being lazy and not taking trips.

“Honestly, wouldn’t it have been easier?” She scoffs, magicking their clothes back in their rightful trunks, while Peter gathers up their books.

Remus laughs, and rushes over to help them up. “I see you’ve made quite the entrance.” Remus jokes, pulling Sirius up.

Sirius laughs, and nods. “Would you have expected anything else?”

“And besides, it seemed like a good idea at the time…” James says, fixing his glasses. “No harm done, really.” He smirks at Lily.

She huffs, and throws her arms in the air. “Come on, Peter, I’ll help you move your trunk the rest of the way.” She says, taking the edge of his trunk, and Peter takes the other.

“Oh, I saved us the compartment at the end of the train!” Remus tells them, taking one of the ends of Sirius’ trunk to help him, as a girl with dark black hair helps James.

“I’m Emmeline Vance.” She tells them. “I heard you’re signing up for the Quidditch team?” James nods. “Good luck. Michael Wood does not go easy.”

“How do you know?” James asks, pushing his glasses up his nose.

“I’m the Beater. I tried out last year, and let me tell you, it was the most brutal experience. Ever.” She laughs.

James swallows thickly. “Right, well I’m trying out for Seeker, not the other Beater position.”

“Ooh, then you have it worse. Break a leg! Well, not literally.” She says, laughing again, waving, and heading back for her compartment.

“Well, she seemed nice,” Sirius breaks the silence after a minute.

James laughs, and they hoist his trunk onto the overhead rack.

They take their seats, and Lily heads back to the compartment with her friends. “I wish she wasn’t friends with Snivellus.” Sirius sighs, sitting down next to Remus.

“Well, not everyone can have as good of friends as we do.” James says, flopping down next to Peter.

“At least she’s friends with Marlene and the others.” Peter says, looking down at his hands.

They begin catching up, talking in depth about their Summer, and Remus notices Sirius only talks about the parts where he was at the Potters’ while James talks about the trip he and he family took to Barcelona, and Peter talks about the beach trip he and his mum took. Remus wonders what Sirius did before he went to James’… He won’t pry… It isn’t polite.

“What about you, Remus?” Peter asks.

“I already told you basically everything. I helped my mum in her shop, and my grandma in her garden.” He laughs.

“Well, it does sound pretty nice. And you’ve earned some spending money.” James smiles.

“You won’t believe what I’ve spent it on. You’ll probably thank me.” He says, standing up on the bench, and opening his trunk, he pulls out a heavily packaged parcel, and puts it down on the table, and unwraps it. Inside is a package of twelve Dung Bombs. “After I heard how your mum wouldn’t let you buy some, I may have splurged a little.” Remus says, smiling wryly.

“Remus! You didn’t.” Sirius says, pretending to be scandalized.

“But I did.” He laughs.

James cheers. “It wouldn’t be a proper prank without a Dung Bomb! You’re the best, Remus.”

“Anything from the trolley, dears?” The Trolley Lady asks, sticking her head in their compartment.

“Yes please!” Sirius and James say together, and all four of them chip in to buy some treats for the train ride.

“What’s that on the bench there, Sirius?” Peter asks, leaning forward.

“Oh…” Sirius says, seeing a bow on the bench seat. “I think Lily dropped this. I’m going to go give it back.” He says, hopping up, and walking out of the compartment.

He looks into every car, hoping to catch sight of Lily’s red hair, when he saw his brother… Their eyes meet momentarily, but Regulus quickly averts his eyes. Sirius takes a deep breath, and ignores the stinging in his chest. He finds her six cars down from Regulus sitting with Mary, Marlene, Alice, and Frank.

He knocks on the glass sliding door, before pushing the door in, and sticking his head in. “Hey, I think you dropped this, Lily.” Sirius says, holding the bow up.

“Oh! There it is! Thank you, Sirius.” She says, taking the bow from him.

“No problem. See you later.” He lets the door slide close, and takes a deep breath, and starts heading back for his own car.

“Sirius…” A small voice to his right says.

Sirius turns and sees his brother. He feels weird, they’re the only two outside in the hallway, and he’s hardly said anything to his brother in nearly five months. “Hey, Reg…” Sirius says, scratching the back of his neck.

“I was just… I just wanted to…” Regulus stutters, looking down at his feet.

“Good luck today… I wish that you could…” Sirius starts.

Regulus knows what he means. “Me, too…” He whispers.

“If you just asked the hat, like I did…”

“I can’t, Sirius…”

“But if you just tried-

“Sirius! No! I’m not like you. You talk back to them, you’re brash, and quick witted…And I do as I’m told…”

Sirius nods, sagging in defeat. “So, Slytherin?”

“Slytherin.” Regulus whispers.

“There you are!” Bellatrix shouts, flanked by her boyfriend Rodolphus Lestrange, and the Carrow siblings. “Awe, isn’t this cute! Is this a wittle family reunion?” She coos. “Are you catching up with little Sirius? Did you miss him, sweetheart?”

“Leave him alone.” Sirius growls, low and cool, standing in front of his brother.

“Ohh, that’s adorable! What are you going to do, Sirius? Hex me?”

“Maybe I will.” Sirius says, whipping out his wand.

“Sirius don’t.” Regulus warns.

“No Sirius, do it.” She taunts. “If you’re man enough. Or is that why you’ve been drifting from your family? Because you’re a little queer?” She sneers.

Sirius brings his wand down, and shouts a curse Remus found to fill your face with pimples and boils.

“You little toad! What did you do?” She shrieks, and several compartment doors open, and students stick their heads out and start laughing.

Lestrange growls, and shoves Regulus out of the way, and lunges at Sirius, punching him in the face, knocking him to the ground, and pulling him back up, punching him again. Sirius tries to protect his face, but it isn’t doing much.

“What’s going on here?” Shouts a Gryffindor Prefect, followed by a Ravenclaw prefect. “Break it up, break it up. Don’t make me deduct points before we’ve even reached Hogwarts, Lestrange!” Shouts the prefect.

Sirius is dropped, and he slumps to the ground, blood streaming from his nose, and his eye is black. “Everyone go back to your train cars, it’s over!” Shouts the Ravenclaw.

Sirius stands when everyone else it gone, Regulus has already slipped away, and Sirius tells himself he didn’t want him to stay around, in case he might have ruined his brother’s reputation already. He sniffles, and wipes his nose on the back of his hand, and tells himself the watering in his eyes is from the punches, not what happened with Regulus…

He slowly makes his way back to the last train car, and slips back in. “Sirius what took you so long- What happened to your face?!” James exclaims.

“Does it look that bad?” Sirius asks, looking over to the window, hoping to catch sight of his face. He winces. “Yeah, it does.” He answers his own question.

“What. Happened?” James asks again.

“I may have fought Rodolphus Lestrange…” He mumbles, looking at his feet.

“You what?!” Peter, James and Remus shout at the same time.

“Sirius, what the hell possessed you to do such a thing? He’s a Seventh Year!” Remus asks, taking Sirius’ face in his hands, assessing the damage.

“I was only trying to talk to Reg- my brother- when Bella had to put her ugly face where it didn’t belong, so I hexed her.” Sirius tells them, trying not to wince when Remus prods his cheek with the end of his wand.

“And?” Peter prompts, hoping to catch the rest of the story.

“And the hex filled her face with pimples, and Lestrange didn’t take too kindly to me hexing his girlfriend, so he started punching me.” Sirius finishes.

“Sirius, the school year hasn’t even started yet, and you’ve already managed to get into trouble.” Remus sighs, shaking his head. He lifts his wand once more, and taps Sirius’ face, and a nice, cool sensation goes through his face, down to his neck, and the pain and blood stop.

“Whoa, where’d you learn that, mate?” James asks.

“Last year, Madame Pomfrey showed me.” Remus says, distractedly, turning Sirius’ face from left to right, making sure he healed everything.

“Madame Pomfrey? When did you go to see her? And what for, that would warrant her teaching you that?” Peter questions Remus.

“I, well, you know… I just, you know… Messed up, and she needed to teach me that, and I’m too tired for this.” He mumbles, and ends the conversation, by curling up on the seat, and laying his head down on the window, and going to sleep.

The three look at each other, brows furrowed, while James tries not to laugh in the way the Remus shut the conversation down. Sirius grins a little. It was rather odd.

“Now what?” Peter asks.

“We play Wizard’s Chess quietly.” James suggests.

Sirius moves from next to Remus over to James’ bench, so Peter can be opposite of James for their game.

Sirius stays quiet the rest of the way to Hogwarts, watching his friends play Chess, and Remus sleep. Remus looks really peaceful when he sleeps, all the worry lines that a twelve-year-old boy shouldn’t have were smoothed out, his face looks very soft, too, Sirius kind of wants to reach out and smooth a thumb across his cheek, just to see what it would feel like, maybe it would have raised bumps from all the scars, and be very warm…

Sirius shakes his head, and turns his head from Remus to the window, watching Hogwarts quickly approach. He couldn’t wait until they got there, he was starved!

The three of them quickly change into their school uniforms, and then wake Remus to do the same. He does so begrudgingly. “You’ll get in trouble if you go in in muggle clothes.” James tells him, laughing.

“Mmm…” Remus mumble, pulling his robes on.

They file off the train behind everyone else, and Sirius sees Regulus before Hagrid ushers them off the platform. “This way Firs’ Years! Follow me!”

Sirius waves once, but Regulus looks away quickly, and follows Hagrid. Sirius lowers his hand, and follows is friends to the carriages. He supposes he’d be a little afraid of them if he hadn’t seen them last year, but even so, it is still a little ominous, being pulled along by nothing.

“What do you think they’ll have this year?” Peter asks.

“Just about everything they had last time, I suppose.” James says, stretching out against the seat.

Sirius’ stomach grumble at the promise of food, and he smiles a little. It’ll be good to be back.

The ride to Hogwarts from the station is a pretty bumpy one, and Remus was looking a little green afterwards, so Sirius got out after James and Peter, and offered Remus his hand, to steady himself, and kept his hand on his lower back the entire walk inside.

“Just through here, everyone.” Professor McGonagall leads years Two through Seven inside, and they all sit at their designated tables while they waited for the First Years to finish the boat ride.

Remus sits next to Sirius, and tries not to wince when his back twinges painfully. Some of the cuts from the previous transformation hadn’t healed correctly, and he knows it’ll take time…

“How many First Years do you think there will be?” Peter asks.

“I don’t know, but I hope the sorting ceremony goes quickly, I’m famished.” James says, sitting across from Sirius and Remus.

A few minutes later the First Years file in. There were around thirty or forty of them, and Remus found himself agreeing with James, after his stomach growls.

 

McGonagall begins to read out the names, one by one, the students get sorted. Remus vividly remembers when he was sorted, all the nerves, and the jittery sick feeling he had, how he thought he would get sorted into Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff… A lot has happened in a year… He wouldn’t have traded the last year for anything.

After six students, McGonagall calls out “Black, Regulus.” And a thin, small boy with thick black hair steps up to the seat. Sirius stiffens in his seat next to Remus, but he keeps his eyes straight ahead, watching his brother.  
Remus wishes there was something he could do to comfort Sirius, but he doesn’t know what.

McGonagall lowers the hat on the small boy, and it tips forward, over his eyes. It isn’t even on for ten seconds, before its shouting “SLYTHERIN!” And a host of obnoxious cheers comes from their table, and Sirius droops noticeably.

“Sorry, mate…” James says, reaching over and squeezing Sirius’ shoulder.

“Thanks, James.” Sirius says, giving him a thin smile.

Remus makes up his mind, and reaches under the table, and feels around for Sirius’ hand, finding it, he squeezes, and after a few seconds, Sirius squeezes back.

Remus smiles to himself and turns back to watching the rest of the ceremony. Dumbledore stands when the last child is sorted, and the stool and hat are gone. He claps his hands together, to signal for silence, and the students fall quiet. “Welcome, welcome to our new students! And welcome back to our old ones. I hope that all your Summers were enjoyable, and you are ready to ingest more knowledge.” He pauses, and turns to a warm, friendly dark skinned woman, “Allow me to introduce our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Susan Godfrey.” He pauses for a welcoming applause. “Now, the list of banned objects has grown since last year, adding Dribbling Teacups, and Ink spraying quills to the list, which you can find on our caretaker, Mr. Filch’s door.” The man in question glares menacingly at them. “I’d also like to remind everyone, and tell our new students, that the Forbidden Forest is very much forbidden. If you lose a ball or something else inside, you are to ask our Groundskeeper, Hagrid for assistance, do not try and retrieve it on your own, or I am afraid you will get detention. Now, if you are all as hungry as I am, I think it’s time we start the feast!” He says, and waving his hands, the tables fill with food, practically groaning under the strain of it all.

Remus loads his plate, and begins to eat, barely restraining himself from groaning because it tasted so good. “What do you think we’ll learn tomorrow?” Peter asks, his mouth full.

“I don’t know… Probably review.” Remus tells him.

Remus couldn’t help but notice Sirius keep sneaking glances every few minutes at the Slytherin’s table, where is brother sat, looking mildly uncomfortable, he looks at James, and nods his head at Sirius. James notices, too, and nods back, and strikes up a conversation with Sirius about something they did that Summer, hoping to distract him a little.

When dinner was over, the prefects began leading them to their Common Room, and once they were given the password, and inside, Remus felt oddly like it was home. He smiles to himself, as he and his friends make their way up to their Dormitory.

James sighs loudly, and flings himself backwards onto his bed. “It’s good to be back.” He says, a smile on his mouth.

“Agreed.” Sirius says, climbing into Remus’ bed next to him, and flopping back.

Remus gives him an odd look, but resigns it to Sirius just being weird, and lays down next to him, staring up at the roof.

Thunder rumbles in the distance, and Remus guesses tomorrow is going to be very wet, and he’s okay with that, thunder is rather soothing, actually.

“I’m going to find Michael Wood tomorrow and ask him when sign-ups for Quidditch are…” James mumbles, closing his eyes.

“You do that, mate.” Sirius says, seemingly not getting up from Remus’ bed.

Remus stands, and grabs his pajamas, and heads for the bathroom to change. He does so as quickly as he can, without sparing himself a look in the mirror, and then heads back, to see the other three have changed, too. He tells himself he isn’t weird for wanting privacy… It’s normal.

Remus lays down on his bed, and closes his eyes. He really is tired, today was a long day, and tomorrow is likely to be even longer. But he doesn’t mind, he’s going to be learning so much, and he’s excited.

“Night!” James calls.

“Good night!” The other three call back, and someone extinguishes the lights, and they all settle down for bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? How was it? Kinda angsty... xD
> 
> All mistakes are my own, i do my own editing. My tumblr ((smol--prince)) is always open to song suggestions, questions about this fic, to talk about wolfstar, or any other fandom, or anything else! You're always welcome!
> 
> Constructive criticism is encouraged! I'm always trying to improve! Thank you to everyone who read/bookmarked/reviewed/left kudos!! It really means a lot to me! <3
> 
> ~Elliott


	4. Everlasting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing! J.K Rowling owns the characters and Wizarding world, and the composers/lyricists of Tuck Everlasting musical owns the lyrics used for the chapter title and the beginning of the chapter.
> 
> Hey! Sorry, this was supposed to be up on Saturday, but my computer crashed, and I lost this chapter, and had to try and rewrite it :( But it's up now, and it's longer than usual! 
> 
> There is slight hints of child abuse later on the chapter, so please be careful, if that could be possibly harmful!
> 
> Enjoy <3

_there are two ways home down one long road_  
_one clear path to two conclusions_  
_does the story end, or never end?_  
_does the secret fade, or is it everlasting?_

Remus woke up early, so he could shower and change before the other three, so he could keep the worst of his scars hidden. He made the water extremely hot, though it usually left him feeling lightheaded, but this way, he could trick himself that the scalding water was the reason his skin hurts, and not something else.

When he gets out, he quickly dries, and pulls his uniform on, and runs his hands through his damp hair, hoping to contain it a little. It didn’t work, his curls were everywhere today. He sighs, giving up, and staring at his reflection. He was awfully pale this morning, but the bags under his eyes weren’t as dark as usual, so he calls that a win. He opens the door, and walks over to his bed, putting his pajamas under his pillow and getting his book bag.

James was up, and into the bathroom for a quick shower. The two of them were always up first, and a little later, the other two would get up, when they had like, half an hour to have breakfast before they’d be late for class.

James comes back into the room a few minutes later, showered, and dressed, too. “Do you think we should wake them?” Asks James. “It is the first day, and I think Professor McGonagall will be a little angry if we’re late for it.”

Remus laughs, and agrees. “Yeah, probably a good idea.” He gets up, and heads over to Sirius’ bed, as James goes to Peter’s. Remus sits for a minute, wondering how he should go about this. He decides on shaking him awake. Sirius is asleep on his front, face smooshed into his pillow, and Remus smiles fondly, before placing his hands onto Sirius’ shoulders, and giving him a few good shakes. Sirius mumbles, and groans, as Peter yelps, as James shoves him out of bed. Remus shakes his head, and pulls his wand out, mumbling “Aguamenti!” and water shoots out the tip, drenching the sleeping boy.

Sirius shouts, and shoots up in bed, hair drenched, hanging in limp strips around his head, as he looks around quickly trying to find the source of the water. When he lands on Remus’ laughing form, he glares. “What was that for?”

“Wake up call, mate.” Remus chuckles.

“What? What time is it, even?” Sirius grumbles.

“Seven-thirty.” James calls out helpfully, and pulls Peter to his feet.

“Why would you wake me up this early?!” He whines, falling face first back into his pillow.

“Oh, no you don’t!” Remus says, pulling Sirius out of bed. “It’s the first day of classes, and I for one, would enjoy not nearly missing class for once.”

Sirius squawks, arms flailing, and falls out of bed. “There, now you too go shower, and then we’ll head to breakfast.” James says, smiling smugly, and bending down to tie his laces.

“What? Was the one Remus just gave me not good enough?” Sirius sasses, but he gets up, anyway.

 

Sirius and Peter shower quickly, before they head down to breakfast. “I’ll get you two back for that.” Sirius grumbles, as he grabs his school bag, and follows them out.

Remus laughs, “Good luck with that, mate.”

Sirius glares, and pushes the portrait open, and they all climb out. Some students are already up, most of them are older, around Fifth through Seventh year, and a few other students, too; they’re all heading to the Great Hall, where breakfast waits for them. The wonderful scents of breakfast tempt Remus, making his mouth water and his stomach growl, and going by the looks on his friend’s faces, he isn’t the only one being affected.

They take their usual seats, almost in the very center of the table, and begin to serve themselves. Remus helps himself to a bowl of porridge and some toast, and just looks around, taking everything in, just basking in the friendly, serene atmosphere of Hogwarts, the dull chatter, the scaping of forks and spoons against plates and bowls, and the feel of magic around him. He knows he probably sounds crazy, but he swears he can feel magic in certain places, like Diagon Alley, his home and Hogwarts. It’s almost a subtle caress, but in places like Hogwarts and Diagon Alley, it’s almost suffocating. In the best sort of way, he thinks.

“Here are your classes for this year,” one of Gryffindor’s prefects hand the four of them each a paper. She hands James a different paper than the others.

“Thank you.” The four boys chime in together.

She smiles, and moves on to the next group of students.

Remus looks at his lesson plan, and slumps, as they have Potions with Slytherin, as well as many of their other classes.

“Did you see it, too?” Sirius frowns.

Remus nods, frowning. “Yeah, but we’ll just have to make the most of it.”

James seems entirely un-phased, practically smiling.

“What’s got you so happy?” Sirius asks.

“Quidditch try outs are soon, I’m going to sign up. It’s official.” James beams.

“Oh, yeah! Good luck!” Peter tells him, smiling.

“Are any of you going to sign up with me?” James asks them, spooning more sugar than is necessary into his porridge.

“No, I don’t think I will.” Remus says, apologetically.

“Me either, mate.” Peter says, self-consciously looking down at himself.

Remus frowns, and touches Peter’s shoulder, and smiles a little. Peter smiles back, but looks away.

“I’m signing up, but I can’t tell you what for, yet.” Sirius says, smiling, and pushes his empty plate aside.

“Why? Please, Sirius?” James begs.

“Sorry, mate. Not yet.” Sirius smiles smugly.

“Well, when?” Remus asks, sipping his hot chocolate.

“Soon.”

James huffs, but stops pressing.

Remus wonders if he can slip away without them knowing, and go to Professor McGonagall’s office. He hasn’t done that in a while, not since he became good friends with the three of them.

“I’m going to go read some before class begins.” Remus tells them, picking up his bag.

“Do you want us to come with?” Sirius asks.

“No, I’m fine. Thank you, though.” He smiles, and waves, walking out of the Great Hall.

“Remus!” Remus hears from behind himself, and turns, seeing Michael and two other students, one is Emmeline Vance, the other is a student Remus doesn’t know.

“Hello.” Remus says, walking the short space between them.

“I was hoping to catch you, or Potter this morning. I heard Potter decided to try out, would you tell him try outs are in two weeks, and that he can sign up tomorrow? I worked it all out with Professor McGonagall.”

“Of course,” Remus tells him, smiling, and ignoring the weird feeling in his stomach when Michael smiles back.

“Thanks Remus, you’re the best!” Michael tells him, patting him on the shoulder, and turning to go his own way with his friends, leaving Remus standing in the middle of the corridor, feeling very light. He slowly reaches up, and touches his shoulder, where Michael’s hand had just been, he can still feel the phantom touch. Remus shakes his head, smiling, telling himself to stop being so stupid, and goes on his own way.

He walks the short journey from the Great Hall to Professor McGonagall’s classroom, and hesitates, before knocking on the door.

“Come in.” She calls from inside.

Remus slowly pushes the door open, and peaks his head in. “Good morning, Professor.”

“Oh, Remus. I hardly expected to see you this morning, I would have thought you would prefer to spend time with your friends.” She says, putting her quill down.

“O-oh, I could leave if you want.” He says, moving to leave.

“No, of course not, it’s a good surprise, I just didn’t expect you to spend your free hours here anymore.” She tells him. “Come in, come in.”

Remus smiles. “Thank you, Professor.” He closes the door, and walks over to his usual seat, and places his bag down, pulling out his book.

“How was your Summer, Remus?” She asks, scrawling down something on a paper.

“It was good, thank you.” He tells her.

“I’m glad.” She tells him.

“Would you like to help me ready for today’s class?” She asks him.

“Of course, Professor.” Remus tells her, grabbing a stack of small boxes, with holes pokes into the top from her desk, and begins to pass them out on each desk.

“Are you looking forward to this schoolyear?” She asks him, setting several other boxes down on the desks.

“Yes, very much.” Remus says, turning to face her.

“That’s good. You’ll be learning more complicated spells and Potions this year.” She tells him. “If you need help for anything, anything at all, Remus, don’t hesitate to ask for it, okay?”

Remus just nods, he can’t bring himself to speak. He feels like there was a hidden meaning in her words.

“What is inside these boxes, Professor?” He asks, and is about to shake it, when McGonagall places her hand on his shoulder.

“Do not shake them, Remus. You’ll find out soon enough.” She smiles, and places the remaining boxes on the last desks.

He goes back to his seat when they finish, and she goes back to her desk. He pulls out his Transfiguration book, he’s already read a lot of it, he started the night he bought the book, and he admits some things sound hard, but also having done other, more difficult spells, he can see what techniques he’ll need for the spells.

McGonagall unlocks the door, and students begin to file in, taking their own seats. Sirius smiles and takes the seat next to Remus, as James and Peter take the two behind them. Remus turns in his seat, ignoring the twinges in his rib, from where it was still sore. “James, Michael told me that try outs for Quidditch are in two weeks, and you can sign up tomorrow.”

“Really? Great! Thanks Remus.” James smiles.

Remus smiles back, and turns forward when McGonagall clears her throat. “Good morning. I hope your Summer Holiday was enjoyable, and that you’re all ready for another year of learning.

“As you go into your second year, we’ll be learning more difficult spells this year, the techniques will be more trying this year. Once again, disturbances of any kind will not be tolerated.” She aims this at James and Sirius, and the other students snicker. “Now, we won’t be doing anything too hard for a few days, we’ll start by turning beetles into buttons.” She tells them, and opens her desk, and takes out a small, clear box with holes in lid, and a dozen black beetles inside.

She opens the lid, and places one on the desk in front of her, and takes her wand out. She says the spell, and taps the beetle, it tries to run, and gets a few inches, before it’s legs pop, and retreat into its body, and its body turns into a shining coat button.

The class gasps, and McGonagall turns to them. “Now, on each of your desks is a box with three beetles inside, please try not to kill them.” She tells them, with a small smile, and the students open their boxes, several students squeal when they stick their hand inside.

Remus grimaces, and sticks his hand inside, and lets one crawl onto his hand, he hates the feeling of their small feet tickling their way all over his palm, and then places it on the desk. McGonagall tells them the spell one more time, and leaves them to their task, walking around the table, giving out tips when she sees someone struggling.

Remus looks down at the beetle, and frowns sympathetically, and gently nudges the bug off his finger, and takes his wand out, and says the spell, tapping the bug with his wand. Nothing happens at first, so he tries once more, and this time, a few legs disappear, and he swears it gets a little shinier.

A few seats across from him, Marlene McKinnon shrieks as her beetle explodes. Several other students scream, too. Sirius and James start laughing, while Peter stares in shock. Lily is over at her side, a handkerchief out, and wiping the remains of the beetle off Marlene while she starts crying.

“I don’t know what happened!” She sobs. “He exploded!” And that starts James and Sirius, and several other students off again.

Remus is up, he takes out his own handkerchief, and uses a water charm to wet it, and helps clean off Marlene’s face.

“Alright, alright!” McGonagall calls. “That is quite enough. Ms. McKinnon, use another beetle, and be more careful this time. Everyone, back to your work.”

Remus smiles at Marlene, and she smiles tearfully back. Remus slides back into his seat, and back to his own beetle.

After class McGonagall gives them homework, which was to keep practicing the spell. “Be careful with your beetles, and if you need more, ask Hagrid, he will have plenty.”

The students file out and head for Herbology. The sun outside glimmers on the grass, which was still wet from the storm the night before. Remus is happy that they have Herbology with Hufflepuff, he was getting tired of Snape’s eyes on his back the entire lesson. He wasn’t stupid, he knew Snape was waiting for the perfect moment to tell someone, he’d need to be careful.

“What do you think we’ll be doing in Herbology?” Sirius asks, as they stand in the Greenhouse they were directed to be in, while they wait for Professor Sprout.

“Mandrake.” James says with a grimace.

“What? How do you know?” Sirius asks, confused.

James just points to the big table in the middle of the Greenhouse, where several Mandrake sprouts sat in their pots, and a pair of earmuffs for each student.

Sirius just nods, grimacing too.

Remus sets his bag down, and rolls his sleeves up.

Professor Sprout comes in, and smiles widely. “Welcome back, welcome back. Now, today I have something very interesting. We’ll be repotting Mandrake. It is very crucial that you put on the earmuffs, and secure them tightly, at least for now, you’ll be out for a week. But when they mature, they’re fatal to anyone who hears it.” She warns them. Each student picks up the earmuffs in front of them. “Who can tell me what you use the Mandrake for?”

James raises his hand, “It’s leaves and other parts can be used in Potions.”  
“Very good, Mr. Potter.” Professor Sprout smiles, “Ten points to Gryffindor.”

James smiles, self-satisfied, while Sirius high-fives him.

“Now, choose a partner, because this isn’t an easy task to do on your own, they may be little, but they’re strong, and their bite hurts more than you’d think.”

Remus decides to partner up with Peter, because the smaller boy seems lost, staring from his earmuffs to the plant in front of him. Remus secures his earmuffs, and stands next to Peter. “You hold the pot down, I’ll go first.” Remus reassures him.

Peter smiles, relieved, and holds the Mandrake’s pot, as Remus puts on his gloves, turns to Professor Sprout.

“Now! Firmly grasp the Mandrake by the stem sticking out of the dirt!” Professor Sprout shouts, so they could hear. “And pull hard, then repot them, and dump some soil over the top.”

Remus grimaces, and grabs the stem, and tugs, and even from under the earmuffs, the cry still hurts his ears.

He quickly repots it, and puts some soil over the top. Sirius and James aren’t as lucky, and Sirius is bit by one. He shouts, and drops it, and it continues to scream, until James grabs it and stuffs it into the new pot, and smothers it in soil.

By the time the lesson is over, everyone is sweaty and sore and tired.

“Do we have to do this the entire year?” James whines, wiping some soil from his face, as they head to lunch.

“Afraid so.” Remus sighs. Sirius reaches over and brushes some dirt from Remus’ hair. Remus doesn’t want to know how that got there.

“Couldn’t we have gone with something safer? I still have scars from the Devil’s Snare.” Peter moans, rubbing a scrape on his cheek form the Mandrake.

“I suppose it’s necessary… Doesn’t mean I’m going to like this year’s class.” Sirius grumbles, obviously still grumpy from this morning.

James wraps his arm around Sirius’ shoulders, and leads the way into the great hall, along with the other students. “We’ll get through this, don’t worry.” James says, patting Sirius’ head with his other hand.

Sirius laughs, and shoves him off, and elbows him in the side playfully. “Get off me, you idiot.”

James laughs, and ruffles Sirius’ hair, and Sirius shouts, and throws his hands up, guarding his head. He would go for James’ already messy hair, but James grew quite a bit during the Summer, he already had some inches on Sirius, and now has nearly a six inches on Sirius. Sirius glares, and runs behind Remus.

“Remu-u-us make him stop!” Sirius whines, and ducks behind Remus’ shoulder as James comes at him again.

Remus laughs, shaking his head, but keeps in front of Sirius, anyways, making sure he’s covered.

“You two are like a couple of children.” Lily chuckles, coming to walk with them,

“We’re just having a little fun.” James says defensively.

Lily just shakes her head.

“What did you lot think about the lessen?” Mary MacDonald asks, coming to walk with them, too.

“It was brutal.” Peter says, then turns bright pink when Mary laughs.

“I agree.” Marlene groans, walking up, too. “But I don’t know if it was worse than Transfiguration.”

James laughs, “That was brilliant, Marlene. Could you blow another one up?” he pleads.

“What? No!” She squeaks. “Blow your own beetle up.”

“It just takes a little practice. And I think you were holding your wand a little off, too.” Remus tells her.

“Could you tutor me?” She pleads, fluttering her eyelashes at him.

Remus rolls his eyes, but nods. “Sure, Marlene. How about this weekend?”

“Perfect, thank you!” She says, hugging him.

Remus stiffens, until she lets him go. Sirius, who was keeping a close eye on Remus, frowns, and takes a step closer to him, and glares at Marlene.

Inside, they all sit together, and Frank Longbottom and Alice Fortescue come and join them, too.

“Can you believe they gave us homework on the first day?” Alice asks, glaring at her school bag.

“I mean, it could be worse. We could have been made to pot even more of them. And as it is, we only need to write a small paper on the properties of the Mandrake, and what it could be used for. And keep working on turning our beetle into a button.” Lily tells Alice, taking a sip of pumpkin juice.

“Even so, I was hoping we would have a week to get settled.” Alice huffs.

“I’m just glad we aren’t Fifth or Seventh years yet, they’re bound to have loads more homework than we do.” Sirius says, serving himself some stew.

After lunch they all headed to DADA, inside the room was lit softly with candles floating around the room, it seemed while they were at lunch, the clouds overtook the sun, and it looked like more rain was to come.

They all took their seats, much like in Transfiguration, except Peter and Remus took the seats behind James and Sirius. They had this class with Slytherin, something Remus wasn’t looking forward to, seeing as almost every student from that house sneered at him and his friends, Snape, the most out of everyone.

“Good morning everyone. I am Professor Godfrey, and I’ll be teaching you lot the grim class that is Defense Against the Dark Arts. I don’t want any of you to use any curse, or jinx you learn in the classroom on any of your classmates, if I find out, there will be consequences.” Professor Godfrey says, her voice is light, and her eyes shine with almost childish glee. “Today we’re going to be reading about Banshees, and how to spot one, and what to do if you should come upon one. So, if you would all take out your books, we’ll begin.”

Remus reaches into his bag, and pulls out his book. He hasn’t gotten as far in DADA as he had in his other books. He doesn’t really like DADA, it reminds him very much of what he is, especially the chapters warning you to stay away from werewolves because they are blood thirsty creatures, it reminds him so much of the truth, and makes it feel like Hogwarts is too much like a dream, and he’ll wake up to reality, even after a year of Hogwarts, it still doesn’t feel real.

“Now, could anyone tell me the most effective way to rid yourself of a Banshee?” Professor Godfrey asks.

Remus raises his hand, “The Laughing Potion is the best way.”

“Correct, Mr. …?”

“Lupin. Remus Lupin.” Remus says, sitting back down.

Her eyes widen, and she quickly takes in his appearance, eyes dancing from one scar to the next, before she nods, and lowers her gaze. “Good job, Mr. Lupin. Ten points to Gryffindor.”

Some of the students’ cheer, and James turns around, and claps Remus on the shoulder, while the Slytherin students glare daggers at him.

“Now, you won’t be learning that Potion for a long, long time, but for now, would anyone like to tell me what a Banshee looks like, and where they are native to?”

Lily’s hand shoots up, and she answers correctly. “They look like women, though they have ghostly faces, and they’re native to Scotland and Ireland.”

“Very good job, Ms. Evans, ten more points to Gryffindor.” Professor Godfrey praises, a small smile on her face.

They spend another hour learning about Banshees, and when they’re done, they’re given more homework.

Remus feels relieved since DADA was the last class for that day. He couldn’t wait to sit and breathe for a second, without the feeling of eyes on the back of his neck, or the claustrophobic feeling of the classroom.

They go outside, after putting their school bags in their dorm. They head to the tree they spent most of their time under last semester, and Remus tried to ignore the Whomping Willow to their left.

“As far as first days go, that wasn’t too bad.” James says, stretching out, and laying down. Remus wished it was a little brighter out, as he would have loved to read his book, but it looked like it would rain before dinner.

“True, and the homework isn’t too complicated, either.” Sirius says, stretching out next to James.

Remus and Peter stretch out, too, and they all look up at the cloudy sky.

\----

Sirius wakes up on his own the next morning, he was surprised to see it was before James, and Remus. He tries to fall asleep, but sleep seems to be eluding him, so he grabs his school uniform, and takes a quick shower, and decides to do some of his schoolwork before classes begin.

He was one of the first students in the Common Room, there were three other students, Seventh Years in front of the fireplace, whispering furiously to each other, huddled over their text books.  
Sirius frowns, looking at his homework for DADA, not understanding it, and decides to go the library for some answers.

He pushes the portrait open, and climbs through the opening. The walk wasn’t too far from the library, just down a few staircases, and a corridor. Almost the entire castle was still asleep, even the portraits were still snoring.

He stops in his tracks when he sees Regulus walking to the Library from the opposite direction. Sirius straightens up, and makes up his mind to try to talk to his brother. There is no reason for them to be carrying on like they do, like they’re strangers more than brothers. Yes, he was hurt when Reg chose their family’s pride over him, but he wants to fix that.

“Regulus!” Sirius hisses, and his brother’s head snaps back at him.

He tentatively smiles at Sirius, and waves. Sirius quickly walks the small space between them. “H-how was your first day of class yesterday?” Sirius says, rubbing the back of his neck.

“It was very fun!” Regulus smiles widely, his eyes were brighter than Sirius had ever seen them. “I’m already learning so much, Sirius!”

Sirius smiles, he’s never seen Regulus so excited, or enthusiastic. His chest tightens, why hadn’t he ever made his brother this happy? Or could Regulus feel the stifling, choking weight lift when he left their home, and family behind.

“That’s amazing, Reg!” Sirius smiles back, he finds Regulus’ excitement contagious.

“E-even though I’m in Slytherin, and you’re in Gryffindor… Do you-do you think we could still talk? Will this work?” Regulus stutters.

“I mean, we could give it our best shot, that rule is stupid, it’s not official, why should we let everyone else decide for us that we can’t because we’re in different houses? Other siblings still talk, why should it be different since you’re in Slytherin and I’m not?” Sirius rants. He wants things to be better now, he wants things to go back to normal.

“Regulus! What do you think you’re doing?” The sickly-sweet voice of Bellatrix calls from down the corridor. “You know you aren’t supposed to talk to the blood-traitor.”

“Keep your big head out of things that don’t concern you, Bellatrix!” Sirius shouts.

“Oh, is itty-bitty Sirius angry? Does he miss his baby brother?”

“Shut up! Just shut up!” Sirius growls.

“After what you did last time, I should teach you a lesson you’ll never forget, but I think I’ll go a little easy on you.” She takes out her wand, and murmurs something, and Sirius is thrown across the corridor, and knocked into a pillar.

Sirius groans, slumping against the wall.

“Bella! That was dark magic!” Regulus gasps, horrified.

“And?” She asks, mood changing quickly from amusement to boredom.

“It-It’s against the law!” Regulus whispers.

“Oh, there is so much you’re going to learn, Regulus. First lesson: we do not talk to Sirius. Ever. He is dead to you, after he ditched us to be with the Gryffindors’.” She says, and grabs Regulus, dragging him away from Sirius.

Sirius whimpers, reaching up to feel the place he hit the hardest, when it comes back covered in blood he grimaces, and tries to stand. He barely gets to his feet, when he topples over, dizzy.

“Sirius?” Someone calls, loudly, too loudly.

He groans, and shakily gets to his hands and knees. He lifts his head a little, and sees Lily and Marlene.

“Sirius,” Lily whispers, “What happened?”

“I-I think I fell.” He grits out, and closes his eyes tightly as the spinning increases.

“We should get Madame Pomfrey.” Marlene whispers.

“Good idea, I’ll stay with him, you go get her.” Lily says urgently.

Marlene nods, and runs off, leaving the other two. “Sirius, can you look at me?” Lily asks, putting her hand under his chin, and lifting it. “Sirius?”

Sirius whimpers again, and tries to focus, but everything feels extremely fuzzy.

“Okay, just keep your eyes open, Sirius. Who did this to you? This wouldn’t have just happened if you fell.” Lily worries, almost talking to herself.

Sirius shakes his head, but that makes the room spin even more. He hears footsteps, and soon Madame Pomfrey is kneeling in front of him.

“He looks mildly concussed.” She says. “Okay, I’m going to move him. Try and stay awake, Sirius.”

After she said that, he realizes how tired he feels, and it becomes harder and harder to keep his eyes open. His lids feel heavy, perhaps if he just closes them for a minute…

\-----

When Sirius opens his eyes next, he’s in the hospital wing, in bed, with a horrible headache. He groans, sitting up, and lifting a hand to his head, wincing, feeling a bandage there.  
What happened again? Slowly, fuzzy memories of meeting Regulus near the library, and then Bellatrix… Fucking Bellatrix.

“Mr. Black?” Sirius turns to see Madame Pomfrey standing in the doorway of the ward. “How are you feeling?”

“Okay… My head hurts.” He whispers.

“Yes, I expect it will for a day or two. I’m going to keep you here for the rest of the day, and tonight, just in case, okay?” Her voice is gentle, and soothing.

“Okay…”

“What happened? Were you in a fight?” She asks, coming to stand near the end of his bed.

“Nothing, I just fell.” Sirius lies, feeling his heart rate pick up in his chest, and his palms break out in a cold sweat.

She sighs, “Are you sure? If someone did this to you-

“No!” They both sit, shocked at his outburst. “No. I just fell.”

She frowns, and nods. “Okay… Just be more careful, then…” And she turns to go, leaving him by himself.

\----

Remus frowns when Sirius wasn’t in his bed this morning. Remus wonders where he went, but he just decides to go about his morning routine, and when he finished, he heads down to breakfast with James and Peter.

“Did either of you see Sirius this morning?” Remus asks them, as they climb down the stairs.

“No, I was about to ask you the same thing.” James says, a worried crease between his eyebrows.

Remus frowns. It is odd, but perhaps he just wanted to get an early star, or he was planning a prank.

At breakfast, when they still couldn’t find him, Remus began to worry more. Sirius never missed breakfast… Lily comes in, trailed by Marlene, and both look pale and shaky.

“Lily? What’s wrong?” Remus asks when she sits down next to him.

“S-Sirius. Lily and I found him on the ground outside of the library this morning, he wouldn’t really tell us what happened, only that he fell.” Marlene says, looking paler after every word.

“Which I don’t think happened. Madame Pomfrey said it isn’t likely you could get a concussion from falling, unless it was down some stairs.” Lily rambles.

“Wait, is he okay?” James presses, looking shaken himself.

“Y-yeah, I think so. Madame Pomfrey took him to the hospital wing, and she said he should be okay to leave tomorrow.” Marlene tells them.

Remus nods. “Then we’ll visit him.” He stands, and Peter and James follow suit.

“No, you’ll do nothing of the sort.” They turn and see Professor McGonagall standing behind them. “You’ll wait until after classes, and only if he’s feeling up to it.”

“But- “ James starts.

“No buts, you’ll wait.” She says sternly.

James sighs, sinking back into his seat, and looking down at his plate, but he has no appetite.

Remus waits until McGonagall is far enough away, and then he turns to Peter and James. “We’ll just have to sneak in.”

“Sneak in? but how? I’ve heard Madame Pomfrey is extremely observant, and you’ll get detention if you disobey her.” Peter whispers.

“James, you brought your invisibility cloak?” Remus asks, and James nods. “We’ll wait until after Charms, they’ll expect us to sneak off first thing, but we’ll really sneak off in Potions.”

“Brilliant!” James praises. “I’ll stash my cloak in my bag before we go to class, that way we’ll draw less attention to ourselves, since we won’t be sneaking off to the dorms.”

“Good idea.” Remus nods, and they all head back to the dormitory to fetch the cloak.

\-------

Sirius was very bored by midday, and Madame Pomfrey had even forbidden him from doing schoolwork because she didn’t want him to strain anything.

He wished he could leave, but he knew better than to try and escape, he’s heard stories about students who tried to sneak out, and they weren’t pleasant.

Madame Pomfrey had left a few minutes before for her lunch break, and Sirius had just finished his own lunch, when the door opened, and instead of Madame Pomfrey, there was nobody. Sirius’ brow furrows, and he stares at the empty office for a few minutes, before he catches muffled whispers, and he wonders if he hit his head harder than he thought, when suddenly, a swooshing noise of fabric being thrown back, and his friends were standing in front of him.

He frowns, “I was told you weren’t allowed to visit me yet…” Sirius starts.

“When have you ever known us to follow rules?” Peter asks, laughing, as the three walk over to him, and pull up various seats, and sit around him.

“Good point.” Sirius laughs. “But you know you could get in serious trouble for sneaking in, and disobeying the teachers.”

“Well, I’d say you needed some _Sirius_ cheering up.” James jokes, making himself laugh.

“Did you really just make a name joke at me?” Sirius asks, bemused

“Sirius,” Remus interrupts. “What happened? And don’t say you fell, we aren’t going to buy it.”

Sirius frowns, and feels his throat tighten, and his eyes sting. “Nothing. Why does everyone keep asking me that?”

“Sirius-  
“No! Nothing happened!” He croaks, and feels his face redden in embarrassment. He looks down at the stark white blanket, and fights the tears that are trying their hardest to make an appearance.

He feels a warm hand on his shoulder and looks up. James smiles at him, though he can see the worry in his friends’ eyes. “It’s okay, we won’t pry, just… You know that we care, yeah?”

Sirius nods, and bites his lip that begins to wobble. James pulls him into a hug, and Sirius hides his face in James’ shoulder. He’s very thankful that James doesn’t comment when his shirt begins to get wet.

“What on earth?” Comes Madame Pomfrey’s voice. “How did you boys get in here?”

“It wasn’t that hard, actually.” Peter says, and Sirius can hear the slight smile in his voice.

“Sirius needed some company.” Remus tells her, and Sirius begins to feel warm all over, as James hand continues to rub circles up and down his back. His friends care for him, and that’s all he cares about right now.

\--

Later that night, when Remus, Peter and James were practically thrown out, Regulus comes and visits, though he looks very reluctant.

He meekly sits down on the chair closest to Sirius’ bed. “I’m sorry I got you hurt.” Regulus whispers.

“No, it wasn’t your fault, she would have found another reason to do that to me, even if we hadn’t ever spoke this morning.” Sirius reassures him.

“Still…”

“Reg, really. So long as you’re happy, I don’t care what they do to me.” Sirius tells him, reaching out, and grasping his brother’s hand.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” Regulus suddenly shouts. “After everything I did to you since Easter, after choosing them over you, after ignoring you all Summer. How could you ever begin to try to be nice to me?” He sounds defeated now, and Sirius can see the beginnings of tears. He’s tired of crying, and of seeing his loved ones’ cry.

“Because we’re family.” Sirius tells him. “Because family does stupid things some times, and that’s okay, because you’re trying now… So long as you don’t leave me again…” Sirius whispers the end part. He doesn’t want to believe that Regulus would put him through that again, but at the same time, he was right; Regulus isn’t as brave as Sirius is. And Sirius knows he is going to get hurt again, but he pulls back the covers anyway. “Come on, it’ll be just like when we were younger.”

Regulus frowns, and sits for a minute, before a small smile tugs at his mouth, and he toes his shoes off, and climbs in bed.

“I’m sorry again…” He whispers.

“Don’t be… Let’s just forget the whole thing ever happened.” Sirius tells him.

“I miss Andromeda…”

“Me too… But she’s happy, now. And that’s all that matters.”

Regulus nods, and they get quiet, and eventually they both drift off, content for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I hope you enjoyed! I combined two chapter ideas, so I hope it turned out okay :)) 
> 
> All mistakes are my own, i do my own editing. My tumblr ((smol--prince)) is always open to song suggestions, questions about this fic, to talk about wolfstar, or any other fandom, or anything else! You're always welcome!
> 
> Constructive criticism is encouraged! I'm always trying to improve! Thank you to everyone who read/bookmarked/reviewed/left kudos!! It really means a lot to me! <3
> 
> ~Elliott


	5. All Fall Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I OWN NOTHING! J.K Rowling owns the characters, and the Wizarding World, and OneRepublic owns the lyrics used for the chapter title, and at the beginning of the chapter.
> 
> Hey! This one is really short, but this week was HELLA stressful :(( Hopefully next weeks will be on time, too XD 
> 
> Enjoy! <3

_Yeah God love your soul and your aching bones_   
_Take a breath, take a step, maybe down below_   
_Everyone's the same_   
_My fingers to my toes_   
_We just can't get a ride_   
_But we're on the road_

Something was different, Remus noticed after the first of being back at Hogwarts. He started noticing things about his fellow students. His wolf craved close-ness from certain people he hung around. Especially a certain older student who he won’t think about, no, thank you. He wouldn’t think about how warm he felt when he was around him, or how he felt tingly all over when he was around, or how his smiles made him blush, and how he felt jealous when he winked or smiled at anyone else. No, he wouldn’t. It was too confusing, and weird.

He rests his head on his hand, as Professor Binns drones on, and on about the International Warlock Convention. He looked out the window, and spots some First Year students doing Herbology, collecting moss that had healing properties, he remembered doing that last year, and he couldn’t help wishing he were out there, too.

He had begun craving the outdoors recently, especially since his friends were getting restless, too, it seemed. As much as he loved his friends, they were wearing him down, and that on top of his constant exhaustion, it made him cranky, and he had to try his hardest not to snap at them, and he didn’t know why he was feeling like this, why he was on edge, or why he couldn’t sleep at night, he couldn’t wait for the weekend, he was going to spend as long as he could by himself, possibly just sleeping…

A piece of paper lands on his desk, and waking him from his daze, he looks down, and opens it. Are you still free this weekend to study? -Marlene

He stares at it for a minute, before remembering he promised Marlene some help this weekend. He groans quietly, and takes out his quill, dips it in the ink pot, and quickly writes, Yeah, we’ll work out a time later. -Remus

He tosses the paper back to Marlene, and she smiles at him after she reads it. He smiles back, and goes back to looking around the room, hoping to find something interesting, and he lands on Sirius.

Sirius had been doing well after he left the Hospital Wing; he had a headache for the next two days after he left, but that morning he woke Remus up by jumping on his bed, and hitting him with pillows.

“Pay back!” He crowed, and continued hitting him over and over with a pillow, laughing.

Remus smiled, remembering how happy he had been, after being slightly subdued for two days, his lively smile was greatly welcomed.

Sirius turns, as if feeling Remus’ eyes on his, and smiles back, waving slightly, even though Professor Binns was entirely blind to anything the students did around him, a few times some students played games, throwing pieces of paper at each other; he was none the wiser, he just kept going on and on.

When History of Magic was over, Remus, and Peter all walked together to the Great Hall for lunch, they all looked around for James, and Sirius but they couldn’t find them. They must have lost them in the sea of hungry students heading for lunch.

“Where do you think they are?” Peter asks, as they sit at Gryffindor’s table.

“I don’t know… Maybe they left something in our dorm?” Remus asks, pouring himself some Pumpkin juice.

“Yeah, maybe…” Peter says, though his eyes never leave the huge doors.

Halfway through lunch, the doors push open, and Sirius and James rush through them, thoroughly out of breath, but smiling widely.

“I signed up for the Quidditch try outs!” James pants out.

“Good luck, mate!” Remus smiles.

“Thanks!”

“Is Sirius still not telling us what he signed up for?” Peter asks.

“Yup!” Sirius says, extremely pleased with himself. “You’ll learn soon enough.”

“Well, until then, you can help me practice!” James tells him, grinning.

“But you’ll have try outs and practices soon enough.”

“Yeah, but I haven’t been accepted, yet! I need practice! And we’ll need a snitch…” James says, mostly to himself.

“Fine, fine.” Sirius laughs, patting his shoulder.

“Thanks! I owe you!”

“And I won’t let you forget!” Sirius says, grinning.

\----

Remus was walking back from the library that evening, he wasn’t really paying much attention, the hallways weren’t busy, most students were still at dinner, or relaxing in their common rooms. He found an interesting book about the history of Hogwarts, it had more in it than the school book he owned had, and he was so into it, hoping maybe he could find another secret passage if he read close enough, and he didn’t notice someone lurking in the hallway until he was tripped.

He falls face first into the floor. He groans, and pushes himself up, and turns to find who tripped him. He sees Snape smiling smugly, leaning against a pillar.

“Oh, did I do that?” His lip curls upward.

“What do you want, Snape?” Remus mutters, collecting the things that fell out of his bag.

“Oh, nothing… Did you notice the moon getting full? It shouldn’t be much longer, and it’ll be completely full.”

“Yeah, what about it?” Remus wasn’t in the mood for Snape’s taunting today. He had to deal with Marlene being very weird with him that afternoon, she kept batting her eyelashes, and giggling, throwing her hair over her shoulder, and trying to touch his arm. He was very tired, and honestly just wanted to sleep.

“Oh, nothing, nothing.” Snape smirks and walks the other way, leaving Remus where he was, still kneeling on the floor.

Remus sighs, pushing his hair out of his face, and picks up the rest of his things, stuffing them in his bag, and stalks back to the Common Room.

\---

The next morning Remus left to meet Marlene in the Library like he promised, when he would much rather be sleeping in, or catching up on his own homework.

She was already there when he entered the library, she waved, smiling. Remus waved back, and sat down next to her.

“What would you like begin with?” Remus asks, placing his wand on the table, and going to get his books from his bag.

She places her hand on his arm again, and he turns to face her, eyes wide when she smiles at him, eyes hooded. “Wouldn’t you rather talk first before studying? I’ve known you for a year, Remus, and I barely know anything about you.”

“There isn’t much to know…” Remus protests.

She pouts, “Don’t be a spoil sport, Remy. Come on, tell me something about yourself.”

“I-I… What do you want to know? And don’t call me that.” He’ll only let Sirius call him that. It feels too weird coming from anyone else.

“Well,” She starts, “why do you only hang around your friends? Wouldn’t you rather spend some time with anyone else?”

“I, well, they’re my friends…” He says, confused.

“I know that, but don’t you want any other friends?”

“I have Lily, too.” He says, scooting further away.

“Yeah, I noticed.” She says, a hint of jealousy in her voice.

“Marlene, what is this about?” Remus squints at her, trying to understand where she was coming from.

“Where did you get those scars?” She changes the subject. “There are so many rumors, you know, that you got in an accident when you were younger, that you fought someone, that you fell in a rose bush, that you’re in a gang, which, by the way, seems so fake, you’re too nice to be in a gang.”

Remus sits there, frozen, breath dying in his throat. “I, um, I was hurt when I was younger.”

“Yeah, but how? What happened?” She pries.

“A-A pack of dogs.” He whispers, though he sounds unsure, even to himself.

She looks at him, eyes squinted a little, head tilted to the side, analyzing him. “Okay…” She sounds dubious, but she lets it be. She sees him looking uncomfortable, and frowns. “Let’s just get on with the studying.” Her voice softens a little.

Remus sags, relieved, and smiles, taking his transfiguration book.

\----

Sirius sits outside under a tree that gave him some coverage, waiting for Regulus. They decided it was best to meet in cover, in case Bellatrix, or any other Slytherin tries to take Regulus away once more.

Sirius wanted to introduce his brother to his friends, he wanted Regulus to meet them, he wants to see what Regulus thought about them, and if he approved, which he thinks Regulus might. James was really funny, and loyal Remus was caring, and supportive and Peter was kind and compassionate. He wanted Regulus to see what real friends were like.

Regulus sits down next to him, and smiles a little. “You’re looking better.” He offers.

Sirius nods, unconsciously lifting a hand to the side of his head that was bruised. “Yeah, the swelling has gone down, and it almost doesn’t hurt anymore.”

“That’s good.” Regulus smiles again.

“Would you like to meet my friends sometime? Bellatrix doesn’t have to know.” Sirius quickly asks, looking down at the ground.

Regulus hesitates, before nodding slowly. “Is it true that you four played a lot of pranks last year?” There was a glint of amusement in his grey eyes. “Mother said you did, but she also likes to blame you for things…”

Sirius shakes off the pinched feeling in his chest at the mention of his mother, and smiles. “Of course, we did. Remus found out most of the spells, and James, Peter and I planned them.”

“Remus? He’s the one with the… you know…” Regulus motions to his face.

Sirius frowns, but nods. “Yeah, he’s really smart. He knows how to preform spells from other years!”

“Really? Isn’t that against the rules, what you four do?” Asks Regulus.

“Well, yeah, but they hardly catch us, we make sure of it.”

Regulus smiles. “I’m glad you have friends here, that aren’t like…”

“Like our cousins? Me, too.” Sirius smiles, feeling bad that he couldn’t do anything for his brother, and thinking for the first time, that maybe he should have been placed in Slytherin, if for anything, at least so he could be there for his brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked this, even if it was shorter, but I promise it contributes to the plot!!!! 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who read/reviewed/bookmarked/etc! It means so much!! 
> 
> Constructive criticism is encouraged! I do my own editing, so mistakes are my own!
> 
> My tumblr is smol--prince if anyone wants to talk about my smol dorks, or have any prompts, or just want to talk! <3
> 
> Bye!
> 
> ~Elliott


	6. Superheroes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I OWN NOTHING! J.K Rowling owns the characters and the Wizarding World, and The Script owns the sing used for the chapter title, and the lyrics at the beginning of the chapter. 
> 
> I'm so sorry >.< I never meant to fall so behind again, but trust me, you don't want the chapters I write when I'm sad xD I'm writing the next chapter right now, so hopefully I won't fall too behind. I hope you guys like this, it's a little shorter than usual.

_All his life he's been told_   
_He'll be nothing when he's old_   
_All the kicks and all the blows_   
_He won't ever let it show_   
_'Cause he's stronger than you know_   
_A heart of steel starts to grow_   
_When you've been fighting for it all your life_   
_You've been struggling to make things right_   
_That's how a superhero learns to fly_

 

Remus’ body protests the minute he opens his eyes, joints seizing, and bones aching. He whimpers quietly, and forces himself to sit up, wincing with every inch. He forces his legs to carry himself to the bathroom, even though his body was crying for him to take a few more second’s rest. But he knows he can’t risk it. If anyone caught sight of the scars on the rest of his body his secret would undoubtedly be known.

As the week wore on, his pain only grew, and he really wanted to take the weekend off, but he couldn’t, Remus had agreed on study groups with Marlene every Saturday, though he wished he hadn’t. Saturdays used to be days he used for relaxing. It isn’t that he disliked Marlene, they actually got along rather well after she apologized for pushing too hard, and he opened up a little about his family, and they both talked about their families. It turned out Marlene had two older brothers, both already graduated, and she didn’t like to admit it, but she missed them, since one was in China, visiting her mother’s Family, and the other one in Paris, working at the bank there.

They had begun talking outside of classes, too, something Lily liked, seeing as Remus hardly spoke to anyone outside of their small friend group. She hoped he’d keep expanding his friend group. It would be good for him.

One thing hadn’t changed since last year: Remus still lacked the skill to not explode his cauldron, or completely humiliate himself during Potions. They have had two Potions lessons in the week and a half they’ve been back, and Remus hates the class, if possible, more than he did last year. Slughorn is nice enough, spending most of his time bent over Remus’ shoulder, trying to help him, not that it does much good, Remus has already burnt his Potion last time, and is well on his way to repeating it once more.

Sirius is next to him, frowning slightly, “Stir counter-clockwise, Remus, not clockwise.” He hisses.

Remus nods, gratefully, and wipes the beading sweat from his forehead, he tries stirring it counter-clockwise, but the damage is already done, and the contents in his cauldron is yellow sludge, instead of thin and green, like they were supposed to be.

Sirius peaks into Remus’ cauldron, and begins muttering corrections to his potion, hoping to salvage some of it, or at least keep it from burning.

“Mr. Black, this is the second time this week I’ve had to tell you to stop talking in class.” The first time, Sirius was goofing off with James. “Detention, my office, tomorrow night.” Slughorn goes back to Snape.

Sirius scowls at his cauldron, but doesn’t argue, furiously stirring his potion.  
Remus feels horrible. Sirius wouldn’t have detention if he was actually competent. Guilt eats at Remus for the rest of the lesson, and he does manage to nearly burn his potion, anyway.

When they’re walking to the next lesson, Remus catches up to Sirius, and wrings his hands. “I’m really sorry I got you in trouble.”

“It’s okay, Remus.” Sirius says, smiling at him.

“No, if I could just do potions right you wouldn’t have had to-“

“Really, Remus. You were struggling, it’s Professor Slughorn’s fault. He should have been helping you, instead of praising Snivellus.”

Remus shakes his head, and hopes Snape wasn’t anywhere near them. The looming threat Snape made are constantly in his head, now. He could go and spill Remus’ secret to whoever he wanted at any moment, and Remus’ life at Hogwarts would be over. And especially with the full moon getting closer and closer, it would be so easy for Snape to tell anyone.

The only reassurance was that Snape had no proof, only a hunch, a really good one, but he couldn’t prove to anyone, and for now, Remus could breathe easy.

Herbology could have been easier, honestly. Remus thought it would be, now that the part of repotting the Mandrake was over, but it turned out there was a lot they needed to observe, and that they also needed to repot them every few months when they grew once more. He really wasn’t looking forward to that, especially since they’ll be bigger and stronger, and probably crankier.

“Alright, can anyone tell me what stage the Mandrake are in?” Professor Sprout asks.

“They’re just leaving the infant stage.” Marlene says, after raising her hand. “And soon they’ll be needing bigger pots, and their wails will be stronger.”

“Excellent, Ms. McKinnon.” Professor Sprout says. “Ten points to Gryffindor.”

“Alright, today we’ll be learning about different types of herbs and moss, yes, yes, I know we did this last year, but this is different types of moss. Those were for healing, these are for potions, and a special request from Professor Slughorn.”

Remus was covered in soil by the end of the lesson, after Peter accidentally knocked over a pot, showering Remus in dirt. He had to help repot it, too. He now had several bite marks on his hands, and a scratch along his cheek. And he still stank from his awful Potion. Remus was really looking forward to the end of classes… Maybe he could skip? It was close enough to the Full Moon, and he definitely was feeling it. There was no way he’s going to make it to Astronomy tonight, not without a nap.

They had double Charms, and Remus actually enjoyed that, he had mastered the Engorgement Charm, and was watching some of the other students work, smiling to himself, as he looked out the window. It was a nice day outside, and he couldn’t wait to be out there. He felt the most content sitting near the forest with his friends, or just by himself.

He goes back to the lesson, enlarging different objects around the room, with Lily, like pillows, and a few books.

Charms was their last class, until Astronomy that night, and when it got out, Remus, Sirius, Peter and James all made their way outside. They had to look for some herbs and mosses for Herbology tomorrow, and as far as homework goes, Remus likes this better than the Mandrake.

Soon Lily, Alice, Marlene, and Mary come over. “We thought we’d come and join you.” Lily says, smiling.

“Of course,” Remus says, a smile of his own.

Marlene walks over to pick with him. Remus doesn’t really mind, and he gives her a kind smile. He finds he doesn’t mind her company at all, actually, something that surprised him, seeing as last year she seemed sort of stuck up, and didn’t really want to spend any time with him, or his friends. But, as she explained last year, she was really nervous to be making friends, and didn’t want to mess up, and he felt sympathy for her, as he himself understood that all too well.

And, as it turned out, she had a real knack for locating mosses and different herbs they needed. “You always do so well in Herbology.” Sirius muses, kneeling next to Remus and Marlene.

“Yeah?” Marlene says, pale skin blushing lightly. “You think so?” She pushes her sleek, black hair out of her eyes

“Yeah, I do. You always seem to know the answers to every question’s, some that even Lily and Remus don’t know, and Merlin knows those two are huge nerds.” Sirius laughs.

Marlene giggles. “That is true, no wonder they’re such good friends.”

Remus mock-glares, but soon he joins in on their laughter.

Remus finds that out here, in the fresh smelling air, among his friends, he slowly finds himself relaxing for the first time in a week.

\----

“I’m sure it was this way.” Sirius tells them, as they’re running away from Filch, after dropping four foul smelling dung bombs on some sixth year Slytherins who have been giving Peter some trouble.

“Are you sure, Sirius?” James pants, holding a stitch in his side. “Perhaps we don’t need to find the stair case. We just need somewhere to hide.”

Remus was about to agree, but he was too out of breath, and then something extraordinary happens. A wall that had been just a wall one second, begins to dissolve, and in its place stands an ordinary looking door, a door that Remus honestly would have passed by, thinking it was a broom closet. But he doesn’t, because that door was not just an ordinary broom closet, no, it had a magical property behind it.

“Sirius, James, Pete, get over here.” Remus hisses. They need to get out of sight. He can hear Filch coming down the corridor.

“Remus, mate, you’re usually brilliant, but I don’t think we’re all going to fit inside a tiny broom cupboard.” James says, head cocked to the side.

“No, this door wasn’t here a minute ago; it just appeared when you said we needed a place to hide.” Remus tells them, and he turns the knob, and inside isn’t a small broom closet at all. No, it has chairs and tables, and a fire place, it looks just like the Gryffindor Common room. Filch’s footsteps are very close, and Remus knows he isn’t the only one who hears them this time, as James’ eyes dart down the corridor. “Inside. Now!” Remus says, taking Peter’s hand, and pulling him inside, and Sirius and James follow quickly.

“What is this place?” Sirius wonders out loud.

“I don’t know, mate…” James says, voice filled with amazement and curiosity.

Remus stays quiet, and next to the door, ear pressed against it, listening for Filch.

“Where could they be?” Remus hears the older man’s growly voice. “They couldn’t just disappear!”

“On the contrary,” comes Slughorns out of breath voice, “it seems they have.”

Remus smiles to himself, it’s not that he enjoys disobeying the professor’s here, but Peter didn’t want to get them involved, so Remus knew they needed to take matters into their own hands, and even so, there is something so satisfying about getting away with something you weren’t supposed to.

Remus hears the footsteps retreating. “Okay, we’re safe. They’re gone.”

“Remus, come here.” Sirius says, beckoning the other boy over, and showing him the comfy, overstuffed chairs, the exact replica of the ones in their common room, along with the tables, and the other furniture.

“What is this place?” Remus echoes Sirius’ earlier question.

“Could this be a secret, magical room?” James asks, when the other three look at him, he becomes a little flustered. “I mean, I said we needed a place to hide, and then it just appeared… That doesn’t happen all around the castle, I should know, seeing as all the times I’ve gotten detention.” He laughs.

“Maybe…” Sirius says. “Maybe it is. That would be wicked!”

They spend the rest of the afternoon exploring the room, until it gets dark. They accept it as another small victory, like the secret passage to Honey Dukes, which they use whenever they can manage it.

Later that night, when Remus was having a study group with Marlene, Lily, Alice, and Frank Longbottom, Sirius, James, and Peter had a lot to talk about.

“The full moon is in two weeks.” Sirius says, something they all noticed last week in Astronomy, and no one was really brave enough to say until now.

James nods. “S-should we tell him we know?” His voice is small, smaller than Sirius has ever known it to be.

“I don’t know…” Peter fidgets with his shirt. “What if he reacts badly?”

“Why would he react badly?” Sirius’ brow furrows.

“I-I don’t know… It’s a really personal thing, what if he feels cornered, and panics?”

“Good point…” James mumbles. “But I don’t like the thought of him doing this on his own.”

“There isn’t anything we can do for him.” Sirius says, throat going tight. He swallows.

“No… But at least he knows he has friends who won’t leave him. Who love him, with or without the wolf.” James says, sitting up, eyes filled with a sort of fire Sirius has never seen before.

Sirius sits up. “I agree… But we should still be careful…”

James nods, “Well, how should we do it?” Peter asks.

Sirius groans. This was going to be harder than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I hope you liked it!
> 
> Please review, constructive criticism is encouraged!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who read/followed/reviewed/or gave kudos! It means a lot! 
> 
> My tumblr is @smol--prince if you wanted to talk about these dorks, if you have any prompts ((I'll try to do them as quickly as possible xD)), or if you just wanted to say hi! :))
> 
> Thank you! 
> 
> ~Elliott <3


	7. Ugh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I OWN NOTHING! J.K Rowling owns the characters and the Wizarding World, and the 1975 own the lyrics used for the title and at the beginning of the chapter!
> 
> Hey, sorry again >.< I lost the original chapter last week when I finished it, and I had to rewrite it, and I also got a job yesterday! I start on Sunday, so I'll try and write a few chapters before then, just to stay ahead! No promises, though >.<
> 
> I hope you enjoy!!!

_And you're the only thing that's going on in my mind_   
_Taking over my life a second time_   
_I don't have the capacity for fucking_   
_You're meant to be helping me_   
_When I said I liked it better without my money, I lied_   
_It took a little while to recognize that I_   
_I'm not giving it up again_

 

James was panicking. Today was the day. The day that would mold the rest of his life at Hogwarts. Sirius said he was being a drama queen, but he didn’t think so. If he didn’t do well, yes, there would possibly be next year, but what if there wasn’t? And what if Wood refused to let him try out next time?!

He tried to flatten his hair, but it didn’t do any good, it just sprang back up. Groaning, James gives up, straightens his glasses, and grabs his broom, and heads down to the Quidditch Pitch with his friends.

“You’ll do fine, mate.” Sirius says, comfortingly. Or, what he hopes is comfortingly. He doesn’t really have any experience in comforting anyone aside from Regulus.

James smiles, though it’s more of a grimace. “Thanks, mate.”

“Really, James, you know the game inside and out, you’ll do fine.” Remus smiles.

He seems pale. James knows why, tonight is the full moon… James wishes he’d take today to rest, but he refused, saying it was only a cold, but James knew better.

When they reach the field, James’ heart leaps into his throat, and he feels like he’ll be sick.

“I can’t do this…”

“Yes, you can.” Remus says, and gives him a little push, when he halts. “Come on, Michael will realize your skill, and you will feel impossibly stupid to have freaked out this much.”

James walks with numb limbs, body completely on auto-pilot.

“Alright,” Michael says, sitting on a bench with the other remaining teammates. “since we only need three positions, we’ll be doing all the try-outs this afternoon. So, unless you are actually willing to wait, what is probably going to take the better part of today, then you can leave, I won’t tolerate any messing around, or wasting of time.”

“He kind of reminds me of a slightly less strict McGonagall with that voice.” Sirius whispers, snickering.

Remus elbows him, but chuckles all the same. They take their seats, Remus between Sirius and Peter.

They tried to talk Lily into joining them, but she said she didn’t get the point of the game, but Remus thinks it has something to do with James’ most recent prank on Snape, he somehow managed to charm his hair a very bright and ugly orange the day before, and she hasn’t talked to James, or even acknowledged his presence in over sixteen hours.

Remus looks over and sees Peter biting his fingernails. He honestly looks as nervous as James. “Peter,” Remus places a hand on his shoulder. “he’ll do well. He’s been training for months now, not to mention years of playing Quidditch even before Hogwarts.”

“Yeah, and Remus is good friends with the Quidditch Captain, so that’s a bonus.” Sirius teases.

“Sirius, Michael is not going to favor James because he and I are friends.” Remus says, unamused.

Sirius just winks, and focuses back on the tryouts.

Down below, Michael was instructing the Beaters a second and third year, who were intent on just goofing off, while James stood to the side, a death grip on his broom, while he waited for his turn. There was only one other person trying out for Seeker, which almost felt worse than if there were a hundred people, because if he messed up, that was it, the other person, a slim fifth year, Paul something-or-other, would undoubtedly get the spot.

Straightening his glasses, James sits to the side, eyes fixed on the athletes above him, watching Michael effortlessly block a shot from one of the new Chasers’ and dodge a Bludger. James swallows thickly, glad that he wouldn’t be competing against him.

After an hour of sitting and watching the tryouts for the Chasers and Beater, James climbed shakily to his feet, hand clenches tightly around his broom, and followed the other student to the middle of the Quidditch field. Faintly, he hears his friends chanting his name. He offers a nervous smile.

“Alright,” Michael says, landing. “I’m going to release the snitch after the two of you are safely in the air, and you will compete to see who can catch it the faster, more times, and avoid being pelted with the Bludger. Sounds easy enough, right?” He asks, an easy smile.

James nods, nervously, and climbs onto his broom, and clenches onto the handle once more. The other student does the same, and Michael counts to three, before they launch into the sky. Once in midair, James slowly feels his shoulders relax, and his grip loosen on his broom.

Down below, Michael blows his whistle, and unleashes the small, golden ball, and instantly, its off, darting into the air.

Looking around, eyes wide, and barely blinking, James tries to catch sight of it, but it’s too fast, and neither he, nor Paul can catch a glimpse of it. Flying higher, James wants a better vantage of it, eyes raking over the field below.

Suddenly, a Bludger soared past his head, almost nailing him in the face. James, leans to the side, eyes wide.

“It won’t matter if you get chosen or not, James, if you get knocked out before you find the snitch!” Emmeline Vance shouts from below him, laughing.

James nods, determined to do well, now more than ever, as he caught sight of Paul across him, smirking.  
Looking closer, James narrows his eyes, as he sees a little golden thing darting just above the other boys’ head. Smiling, James leans forward, picking up speed, he soars through the sky, and right above Paul’s head, and scoops the snitch up.

“Well done, James!” Calls Michael from below.

“Yes! James!” Sirius calls from the stands, and sees Remus elbow him in the side, but he’s beaming, too.

Paul glares, and straightens himself up, a look of determination in his eyes. James knows the next round will be harder, and as he releases the snitch once more, no matter how hard he tries to keep watch of it, it flutters off, too quick for either of them to keep track of it.

James takes off, circling the stadium, and, much to his annoyance, he realizes Paul is following him, doing exactly what he does. Huffing out an irritated breath, James tries to ignore him.

Remus, Sirius, and Peter down below have begun to relax after James caught the first snitch, though after watching him nearly get plowed by the Bludger the first time, Remus remembered why he didn’t really like Quidditch. It was much too violent.

Even though he tried his hardest not to, Remus couldn’t help following Michael. At least he had an excuse earlier, when he was doing tryouts for the chasers, and beaters, but now, he was down lower on his broom, just making sure nothing bad happened, and Remus felt his eyes going back to Michael, intently watching him, he got so caught up in watching him, that he missed James scoring the Snitch a second time.

Remus passes this all off as the Transformation tonight… He’s just slightly distracted is all…

He quickly darted his eyes up, and began applauding like his two friends, and tried to ignore how warm his cheeks and ears felt. Looking back, he caught Michael’s eye, and the other boy smiled at him. Ducking his head, Remus smiled to himself.

“Did you lose something, mate?” Peter asks, seeing Remus looking down.

“Um, no, just need to tie my shoe.” Remus mutters, bending down to pretend to tie his already firmly knotted laces.

Looking back up, and desperately hoping the burning in his face had gone down, Remus saw that the snitch had been released once more, and he saw, James dodge another Bludger, soaring high, then low, as another came close to him.

The wind mussing his hair, and nearly knocking his glasses off, James dodged another Bludger, ducking lower, and to the side, catching sight of the gold once more, he takes off, darting through the air, when he’s knocked to the side, almost off his broom. Clutching tightly to his broom, James whirls his head around, looking for what knocked into him, knowing it wasn’t a Bludger, because his side would be on more pain.

Looking to the side, he sees Paul holding the snitch, while his friends, several of the other people watching, and even some of the Quidditch players shouted about cheating, but James knew it wasn’t against the rules to ram into other Seekers to get to the snitch. He’d just have to up his game, to keep his lead.

James caught the Snitch twice more, he grins to himself, after watching Paul get hit with a Bludger, feeling the cold metal between his fingers, and smiles at Emmeline when she subtly winks at him, showing that she aimed that one specially to make up for what the other boy did to James.

James catches it two more times, and Paul once more, before Michael calls them back down.

“You both did really well, but at this point, I think I’m going to go with James.” Michael tells them. “Thank you for trying out.” Michael tells Paul, who walks off the field dejected.

James can’t help the smile that takes over his face, though he tries to reign it in until Paul is gone, because his mother has taught him manners, thank you very much.

The other two players who were chosen follow the other Quidditch players onto the field, and Michael smiles at his team, pleased with his choices.

“Alright, team, practices are still being worked out, but for now, we’ll have one next week, Sunday at six A.M. Sharp. Understood?”

The other players and James nod, and they begin to make their way either off the field, or to the showers. James opts out of showering, and runs to meet up with his friends. They meet him half way, before James and Sirius begin talking a mile a minute.

“Did you get in?”

“Did you see the catches I made?”

“Mate, that was amazing!”

“Can you believe it?”

“You did so well!”

“I got in!”

Remus and Peter stand to the side, laughing, and watching the two of them, when Michael comes walking up, and stands with them, chuckling himself.

“I see you were right about your friend, here. He did do very well, better than I thought a Second Year would.” Michael says.

Remus smiles, and ignores the swooping in his stomach, and the feeling of the wolf rumbling happily. “Yeah, he trained really hard, Sirius told me, all summer, actually.”

Michael’s eyes widen. “Really?”

Remus nods. “Yeah, he really wanted that spot.”

Michael laughs. “I can see that.” He says, still watching James and Sirius small celebration a few feet away.

Remus nods again, not knowing what to say next, not knowing why it mattered for him to say something, not knowing why he was over thinking this. He frowns, looking down at his feet.

“I should get going, I have a lot to do before next weekend.” Michael tells them, and waves, heading off the Quidditch Pitch.

Remus waves, and turns back to James and Sirius, who have stopped talking so quickly, but are now discussing something else.

“Are you serious?” James asks, laughing.

“Yes, actually.” Sirius says, smirking.

James groans. “No matter how many times you make that joke, it’s never going to be funny.”

“I’m making up for lost time.” Sirius says, crossing his arms. “My mum would never let me make that joke more than twice before getting angry.”

Remus frowns, but doesn’t say anything.

“Is he serious about what?” Peter asks, going to stand next to the two of them.

“He’s going to be the Quidditch announcer.” James tells them, laughing again. “I can totally see this ending badly in our first game against Slytherin.”

“Hey. I’m not going to be biased, Professor McGonagall has already warned me that she can find someone else if I am.” Sirius says, with a slight pout.

Remus chuckles, and follows the other three off the Quidditch pitch, but instead of following them back to the Common Room, he heads to the library, since he promised Marlene he’d help her study some more.

He pushes open the heavy doors, and looks around, before spotting her in a chair at the table in the corner. Remus walks over, and sits next to her, placing his bag under the table.

She smiles, looking up at him. “How did James do?”

Remus smiles back. “He made the Quidditch team!”

Her smile widens. “Really?! That’s amazing, Remus!”

Remus nods. “What would you like to get started with today?”

She thinks for a second. “How about Transfiguration? I’m still having trouble with turning my Beetle into a button.” She admits, blushing slightly.

Remus nods. “No problem. It just takes a little practice, nothing to be ashamed of.” He reassures her.

She smiles weakly. “Thanks.”

Remus nods, and pulls out a small container of beetles he got from Hagrid this morning, and opens the top, and slowly lifts one up, and places it on the table in front of them.

“Now, all it takes is concentration and patience.” Remus tells her, and pulls his wand out, and shows her.

 

\--------

Walking down the halls that evening on a food run, under the invisibility cloak, Sirius hears something odd, like quiet, angry whispers coming from a deserted classroom. He knows he shouldn’t, but he decides to see who it is that’s fighting.

Peaking inside, he sees Snape and Lily. Snape has an ugly scowl on his face, and Lily’s face is so red it matches her hair.

“I heard what you called those Hufflepuff Muggle born students.” Lily says, voice deadly cold.

“I don’t know what you think you heard, but I didn’t do it.” Snape says, voice dripping with malice.

“You called them Mudbloods, Severus, I heard you. The least you could do is own up to it, and apologize!” She shouts.

“Maybe I would if you would stop defending Potter and his posse.” Snape says, sneering.

“I don’t defend Potter, but Sirius, Remus and Peter aren’t as mean as he is sometimes. And at least they don’t go around wielding their bloodline like fame!” Lily says, hands shaking from where they’re balled up against her sides.

Snape’s scowl deepens, and he turns on his heel, and nearly runs right into Sirius, before Sirius jumps out of the way, flattening himself to the wall, and out of the way of Snape’s storming off.

Looking inside once more, Sirius sees Lily close to tears, as she sits down on one of the seats, defeated. Sirius makes up his mind to go and comfort her, as his hatred for Snape deepens.

Quickly pulling off the cloak, and stuffing it into his robes, Sirius takes a deep breath. Even if he has no idea how to comfort someone, he’s going to give it his best shot. Straightening his shoulders, Sirius walks over to the door, and clears his throat.

Lily’s head snaps up, and she quickly dries the tears on her face. “O-oh, Sirius… Hello…”

Sirius’ brow furrows, and he walks in, and closes the classroom door, giving her some privacy. “Are you… Okay? No, that was a stupid question, sorry… Do you want to talk about it?” Sirius stutters.

Sniffling, and laughing a little, Lily looks at him. “Thank you… And I’m okay… Or, I will be. Just a small argument with Severus.”  
Sirius stops himself from disagreeing, which would obviously give away that he was eavesdropping, and just puts an arm around her, slowly, and she accepts the hug. Sirius realizes how he likes to hug people, and accept them, too. It feels good to do it, and quickly rids himself of these thoughts. His parents told him how affection is a sign of weakness.

Pulling away, Sirius says “I have some chocolate upstairs. Do you want some?”

She smiles, wiping her eyes once more, and nods. “Thank you, Sirius. Really, this was very kind of you.”

Smiling a little himself, Sirius offers his hand, and pulls her up, and they head to the Common Room.

\-------

Whimpering, Remus lowers himself to the ground, curling into a ball, and allowing the changes to take over his body once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! Lily is so important to me, okay? XD  
>  Things will start to get moving along faster soon, now that I have the story where I want it xD
> 
> Thank you to everyone who left comments/kudos/read/bookmarked/etc, it really does mean a lot!!
> 
> Constructive criticism is encouraged! I'm always trying to improve!
> 
> My tumblr is smol--prince, if you have any prompts/had any questions/wanted to talk about these dorks, or just wanted to talk about anything! <3
> 
> ~Elliott


	8. Missing You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I OWN NOTHING! J.K Rowling owns the characters and the Wizarding World, and All Time Low owns the song used for the chapter/story title, and the lyrics at the beginning of the chapter!
> 
> Hey guys,,, long time no update? 
> 
> I'm really, really sorry about my absence, it was never my intentions to abandon this fic. I just got so caught up in work, I threw myself into my job, and had little, to no motivation for anything else, even writing. I had major writers block, and felt like there was no point to finishing it, and anytime I tried to sit down and force something out, it was only ever a few hundred words, and I was never happy, because it felt extremely out of character for my portrayal of the boys.
> 
> I also was in an extremely bad relationship, like, really, really bad ((on top of everything, he asked what kind of writing I did, and when I told him about this fic, he said he'd refuse to read it, bc he did not read M/M relationships, so that put a damper on any creativity I had gained back)), and it took a hot minute to get over him, and feel better. ((I am happy to say i'm in a better relationship now, with an amazing guy))
> 
> I was also finally diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and am proud to admit i'm making strides into controlling it.
> 
> I cannot express how much I've missed this story, and you guys, and the boys. I loved writing this, and immersing myself into the wizarding world, it's an amazing coping method, and i'm excited to get back into the swing of things.
> 
> Hopefully you guys can expect a new chapter at least once every week or so ((barring some disaster lmao)) but I wouldn't expect frequent updates for at least the next month or so, I'm going to be moving across the country, so i'll need some time to settle in, but I want to finish this, I want to write for you guys again.

  
Hold on tight,  
This ride is a wild one,  
Make no mistake,  
The day will come when you can't cover up what you've done,  
Now don't lose your fight, kid,  
It only takes a little push to pull on through,  
With so much left to do,  
You'll be missing out, and we'll be missing you  
  
  
  
Remus hardly remembers anything from his transformation the night before, which isn’t entirely new, but he usually remembers at least small pieces of the night, the animal instinct to escape, the need to hunt, to claustrophobic feeling itching at his skin, as he paces the floor of the small shack he’s holed up in, until it gets too much, to he begins to tear away at himself, until he’s left bloody and beaten for Madame Pomfrey to fix the next morning.

This morning is a blur, though. He can’t catch any memories of the night before, and that frightens him, it makes him feel ill. He’s heard rumors of werewolves who lost control, and it all began with losing memory of your shift, then you slowly lose memory of your every day life, then you lose control of your shift, and you’re unstoppable, until the ministry starts hunting for you. After that, you’re basically dead.

Remus lays motionless in his bed. Madame Pomfrey finished tending to his wounds as best as she could, but there wasn’t much she could do, not with the underlinings of magic in his cuts. They’ll leave definite scars.

Remus has found if he lays very still, it doesn’t hurt so much. His wounds still pulse with every heart beat, but they don’t burn quite as bad. He has decided he doesn’t want any visitors this time. He doesn’t want Lily to have to see him like this, pathetic, lying wounded in bed, unable to do basic things for himself, because he broke two ribs and tore a ligament in his wrist.

He knows she’ll be hurt, and she’ll probably blame herself for everything, but he’ll explain everything to her, and hopefully she will understand. He wants to spare her, and he isn’t quite ready to be dealing with her pitying looks.

—————————

Lily walks up to the hospital wing, her school bag swinging heavily at her side, smacking against her leg. She walks up to Madame Pomfrey, who is busying herself with making the beds around the wing.

“Madame Pomfrey, is Remus awake yet?” She asks, adjusting her bag.

Madame Pomfrey turns around, a frown in her brow, and drops her arms to her side. “I’m sorry, Miss Evans, but Mr. Lupin isn’t taking visitors today.”

Lily frowns. “What? Why?” Maybe she heard her wrong…

“Mr. Lupin said he didn’t want visitors this time. He was really beat up this morning, and said he wasn’t up to company, he just wanted to rest.” Madame Pomfrey says, and Lily knows she is doing her best to be kind, but also protect her ward.

“Will he want visitors this evening or afternoon?” Lily asks, grasping onto the last straws of hope.

“I don’t think so. I’m sorry. Now, if you don’t hurry, you’ll be late for class, Miss Evans.” She says, holding the door open for Lily.

Lily walks out of the Hospital Wing feeling confused and upset. She doesn’t understand why Remus wouldn’t want her to visit him. Did she do something wrong?

She realizes very quickly how she has very few close friends. Sure, she’s friends with the girls she rooms with, but as she watches them rush to catch up with each other, push right past her, and don’t invite her to talk about the newest gossip, she realizes she really only has Remus and Severus, and she isn’t talking to Severus, and Remus doesn’t want to talk to her, so who does she have? Who can she sit with and talk to in class? Everyone has someone to sit with, and she won’t, which will make her the pathetic spectacle of class.

She knows many of her classmates see her as the know-it-all muggleborn, even though she tries to be kind to everyone, and help them, most people don’t want her to sit with them, and since this is Second Year, everyone already has their own friends, their own social circles, while she spent her first year learning or hanging around with Severus. He is liked even less than she is, people at least put up with her, no one outside of slytherin likes him, and even they barely tolerate him half the time.

She knows if she asked to sit with Mary, Alice and Marlene, they would let her sit with them, but she always feels like she’s intruding, no matter how many times they tell her they enjoy her company.

She takes a seat by herself in potions, taking her things out of her bag, and setting her cauldron down on the fire, as Slughorn begins to talk about the precision of stirring, and how you need to get it just right for this potion to be perfect. She begins separating her ingredients, getting the right measurements, as she hears the whispers of the students, asking their friends questions, or just giggling at various things. She straightens her shoulders, and gets along in her potion. Schoolwork couldn’t wait for friends, That’s what her mum always tells her.

She pours some toad eyes into the potion, and watches it bubble from a nasty yellow color, into a cool, calm blue, just as Professor Slughorn said it should, and she smiles a little, proud of herself. None of her classmates have been able to accomplish it, and she realizes, looking around with mild satisfaction, that James Potter’s potion is bubbling over. He added the sliced beetle too soon.

Slughorn rushes over to try and staunch the overflow, and calls a hasty dismissal of class, which raises the spirits of most of his pupils, who are glad to get out of that difficult lesson. Lily sees it as a way she can try and sneak past Madame Pomfrey, while they have thirty minutes of down time before their next class.

She rushes quickly up the stone dungeon stairs, dodging students left and right to get to the top steps. She catches glimpse of Severus, but she ignores his sallow, distraught face, she has to think of Remus right now. And besides, she’s still angry at Severus.

She pushes her way through the bodies of students, and past the Great Hall, and around the corner. She reaches the Hospital Wing, and looks around, trying to catch sight of Madame Pomfrey. She can’t see her, so she decides to take the risk of possible detention, and slips the door open, and peaks her head inside, looking from left to right, and choosing to believe that maybe, just maybe, she has stepped out for a cup of tea, or to use the toilet, Lily silently closes the door, and slips inside fully. She looks around, but doesn’t catch sight of Remus. She also knows sometimes when he’s especially beat up, he uses a private room, a little to the left, and slightly hidden.

She pops her head into the door, and sure enough, she sees his stark pale face lying against a pale cream pillow, as he sleeps fitfully. She sits on the chair next to his bed, and watches him for a moment. She reaches into her bag and pulls out some parchment, and begins to compose a letter for Remus when he wakes up.

‘Remus,

I can’t even begin to understand all the emotion and hurt you feel, seeing as you’re basically feeling for two. But I just want you to know, no matter how bleak it seems, how alone it can feel, I promise you aren’t alone, ever. And I will always be here to support you.  
Love,  
Lilly.’

Satified, she folds it up, and stashes it under his pillow, before she stands, taking one last look; brushing a curl away from his forehead, she makes her exit, feeling lucky that Madame Pomfrey was still nowhere to be seen. Lily slips out silently, and heads to their next class.

She sits by herself in the next class, Charms, but when she thinks she’ll be sitting alone once more, Sirius slides into the seat next to hers during DADA.

He smiles at her kindly, as Professor Godfrey begins their lesson about Banshees still. “Do you know where Remus is?” Sirius whispers when Professor Godfrey walks past their seats, towards the back so she can project something onto the chalkboard.

Lily feels a squeeze to her heart, but she shakes herself. She can’t let anything out, she knows Remus hasn’t told the three boys about his affliction, and it isn’t her place to tell, her mother has taught her better. She lifts her head, and turns to Sirius. “His mum was worse than they thought, so he’s staying at least an extra day.” She recites the lie she’s heard Remus say a hundred times over after he was absent for a day or so.

Sirius sighs, dejectedly. Lily is aware they know something is up, but it’s Remus’s call to who he tells. She smiles sympathetically. She doesn’t like being the only one aware of Remus’s condition, it makes her feel awkward, because she knows most people are aware she knows more than they do, and they expect answers from her, too.

“Is… Is he at least okay?” Sirius asks, frowning, a worried crease between his eyebrows.

Lily sighs a little. “He will be.”

They have lunch after DADA, and Lily is pleasantly surprised when she’s invited to sit with the three boys. She thought she was going to have to sit alone, seeing as her roommates had already began their lunch, deeply immersed in their gossip already, she would feel like she was butting in.

She sits next to Peter while James looks surprised to see her, but doesn’t say anything. He might think she’s stuck up, and a bit of a know-it-all, but she was Remus’s friend, so he kept quiet as she sat with them.

Peter and Sirius were discussing the Potion’s lesson, Peter didn’t do too terribly, but he did have a few questions for Sirius, who had been one of the few to make it close to the actual Potion. Lily felt awkward just sitting there eating her lunch quietly, and she supposes she can be civil with Potter, seeing as he was friends with Remus, so obviously Remus saw something in the obnoxious, messy-headed boy.

“Are you nervous about Quiditch practice?” She asks hesitantly, lifting a spoonful of soup to her mouth.

James’ head shoots up, his eyes wide, and mouth full of chicken. He swallows hastily, almost choking, he coughs a few times, before answering. “Um… No, not really. The nerve-wracking bit was tryouts, I got past that, so I’m just really looking forward to playing with an actual team, as nice as Sirius is, he’s only one boy, and it’s a little hard to play with just two players, and I feel like he goes easy on me just so he can be done quicker.” James laughs, nervously. He doesn’t understand why Lily would be making an effort to talk to him all of a sudden…

Lily lets out a light laugh, too. “That sounds like something he would do.”

They sit in awkward silence again for another minute. “You, er, did well in potions today?” James tries. He doesn’t know why it’s so hard to be civil with her. But he guesses it’s better to make an effort to talk than sit in weird silence.

“Oh. Thank you.” She says, a light blush adorning her cheeks. It isn’t that she isn’t used to praise, she is, but mostly from teachers, sometimes Remus and Sirius, but not other classmates. It feels nice.

Luckily, before they have to struggle to make anymore smalltalk, Alice comes over and drags Lily to their side of the table, which made her feel even better, because they sought her out. She picks her tray up, giving James an awkward nod, and moves a few seats down.

“That was so weird.” James mumbles, and turns to Sirius’ and Peter’s conversation.

—————————

Remus slept restlessly for several hours, his sleep plagued by weird dreams filled with strange hazy scenes of him in his wolf form, being chased by mobs of angry students out of Hogwarts. He felt panicked when he woke up, and dazed.

He hated missing classes. He knows Lily and the boys take notes for him, but it isn’t the same, he still feels like he’ll fall behind and Dumbledore will grow tired of teaching a werewolf if he was always absent, he sits up, leaning against his pillow, when he hears a crumpling noise.

He reaches under his pillow, and pulls out a, slightly crumpled, note. He unfolds it and begins to read. He recognizes the handwriting immediately as Lily’s. He’s blinking back tears by the end of the note. He really doesn’t deserve his friends.

He pushes himself out of bed, and hobbles over to the small bathroom, deciding it’s high time to have a wash. He needed to clean all the blood and dirt and sweat off.

The water feels nice against his pulsing skin, and it nearly lulls him back to sleep, before he decides he needs to hurry and wash before he does fall asleep. He pushes his hair from his eyes, before soaping it up, and rinsing it out, doing the same for his body, and then climbing out of the shower, and drying off.

He wraps the towel around his waist, walking over to the vanity cabinet over the sink, and wiping the fog off the mirror. He hates his immediate look after a full moon, especially the more difficult ones. He looks sickly, pale, with bruised bags, and red rimmed eyes. He quickly brushes his teeth, but can’t quite help himself from baring his teeth, looking curiously at the elongated canines. He knows that’s something he developed from being a werewolf, and he knows to be careful when he eats, as he’s bitten his cheek more times than he can count.

He closes him mouth, and finishes drying off, and dressing in a pair of fraying jeans, and a sweater, and heads to tell Madame Pomfrey he feels well enough to leave.

He walks the abandoned halls towards the Gryffindor common room. “Bludger” Remus says, slipping inside, and avoiding anyone’s eye, as he heads up to the dormitory, to find his friends, all huddled around an old, musty book, discussing something in hushed, fervent whispers. Remus’s curiosity peaks, and he takes a step closer, but the floor board creaks, alerting them to his presence.

They all jump, and stash the book quickly, and try to act normally.

“Remus!” Sirius shouts, and jumps to his feet, an eager look in his eyes, and he rushes to Remus, pulling him into a gentle hug.

Remus returns it, though he is very shocked. He was only gone a day at the most. “What was that book?” Remus asks, when they pull away.

“Nothing!” James shouts.

“Homework!” Sirius hurries.

“Sherlock Holmes!” Peter squeaks.

James and Sirius look at him quizzically, but this just leaves Remus feeling like they’re hiding something.

“…Okay…” Remus says, slowly slipping his bag off his shoulder, and walking over to his bed, he pulls some pajamas out of his trunk. “I’m going to call it a night.” He tells them, and goes to the bathroom to change.

That night, when they’re sure he’s asleep, the three of them slip the books out that they were huddled around. They decided that if they were going to tell Remus they knew about his condition,they want to be able to help him some way. They spent the entire evening trying to think of some way to help him.

“I doubt we could actually help him, though.” Says Sirius. “Wouldn’t the adults have found something out by now?”

“Even so, no one really wants to help werewolves, who knows, maybe they looked something over?” James says, flipping through some books, before they chose one about werewolves, and snuck it out from the restricted section.

What if we chipped in and bought him some powdered silver and dittany?” Peter asks, “Even if it isn’t a cure, isn’t that supposed to help with the scarring?”

“While i would love to do that, you know Remy, he hates it when we try and buy him a chocolate bar, much less something that expensive.” Sirius whispers back.

They moved to the bathroom as a precaution, but even then, they decided to whisper, just in case.

James was slowly flipping through one of the books, a seventh year DADA book, that had more in-depth research on werewolves, if it was going to be in any book, surely it would be in one of these, right?

“What if we just let him know that we know?” Sirius asks.

“Because,” James says, adamantly, “I want to be able to actually do something to help him, rather than just wait out every moon while Remus suffers.” The other two nod, and they all go back to their reading.

They sit like that, each propped up against something, as various body parts go numb as the night wears on. Sometime between one and two, James comes across something.

“The Werewolf, though an animal itself, does not enjoy to hunt to kill other animals, and often overlooks them, in favor of human meat. Some have even made Packs with their pets, as noted by Benjamin Prewitt, Acclaimed Auror, who spent months among contained Werewolves, taking notes to know them better, he said they never once attacked them, even on their most vicious Full Moons.”

James pauses, and rereads that bit again, and again. If werewolves didn’t harm other animals, then maybe that was something they could work with…

“Wait, lads, listen to this,” He reads them that section, and looks up when he finishes. “What do you think?” He asks, determination rekindled. Perhaps they have some lead?

“As cool as that is, it isn’t much good, yeah? It’s not like we could buy Remy a pet and smuggle it in once a month.” Sirius retorts.

James scoffs. “I don’t see you coming up with something better! And besides, it’s the only real lead we have on this. We know they don’t attack other animals. That’s something, right?”

Sirius sighs. “I suppose so yeah. We’ll have to really think this through, then. If we did manage to smuggle something in, and that’s a big if, it would need to be something large, like a dog, something that could defend itself.” James and Peter nod.

“I say we call it a night, yeah?” James says, standing up and stretching, his bones and joints pop, and he gathers their books, and stuffs them into his trunk, before changing into his pajamas and closing his bed curtains.

He needs to find something to help Remus. He may have been wary and carried a prejudice for werewolves at first, but he was changed now. Remus has proved that not all werewolves were evil, and they sure as Hell didn’t deserve to by put down! He’d work tirelessly to figure this out. He was going to help his friend, even if it killed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I hope that was okay? I'm still getting used to writing for this again, I have to review my plot for this, and whatnot, but I hope this is okay! Thank you so much for everyone who left comments or kudos! Thank you to every loyal reader! I'm sorry I went MIA last year >.<
> 
> Please leave a comment, any form of constructive criticism is welcome! I'm always looking for ways to improve!
> 
> My tumblr is Spaace--boy if you have any further questions, or just wanna chat about these losers XD
> 
> Thank you again!  
> ~Elliott <3


	9. Youth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I OWN NOTHING! J.K Rowling owns the characters and the Wizarding World, and Troye Sivan ((My lord and savior)) owns the song used for the chapter/story title, and the lyrics at the beginning of the chapter!
> 
> Hey bois! How's it going? I'm officially in Oregon! It has been an experience, I guess i'm an official adult and all that jazz. It's been a little stressful, and i'm sorry for the delay of a new chapter! I don't have WIFI yet, so i'm using a hotspot on my phone which is give or take whether its going to work every day, but we do our best! 
> 
> Things are about to progress is in the story, so give me a little time in between chapters, because they're going to get longer, and more detailed with everything going on, so it might be only one or two chapters a month for a bit, until work slows down a little bit.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!! <3

_My youth, my youth is yours_  
 _Trippin' on skies, sippin' waterfalls_  
 _My youth, my youth is yours_  
 _Runaway now and forevermore_  
  
  
  
  
  
The days that followed, Remus was still suspicious, but when it became clear that they weren’t plotting to kick him from the group, he became less suspicious, and he soon forgot about the whole ordeal. He went about his day, he had study dates with Lilly, he plotted pranks with his friends, and continued learning everything he could. He never noticed that his friends began sneaking off at odd hours to the library, or that they had strange habits of studying in the bathroom. He doesn’t question it when he finds James passed out on the bathroom floor one morning, though he is a little confused how he was able to get his hands on such an advanced copy of DADA…  
  
He has been having strange…. Urges… He finds his wolf is happier when he’s around Michael. It can go from being angry, and restless, to purring contentedly in his chest in minutes. Not to mention, he’s been extremely restless anytime he’s not outside, he can practically feel it pacing in his mind, back and forth, for hours, making him cranky and angrier than he’s felt in a long time. He was never this moody, he doesn’t know why.   
  
Not to mention he’s been eating more, and growing like crazy. Their new joke is that he’ll surpass James in height if he doesn’t slow down.  
  
Watching James’ first Quidditch practice sounded like a good idea. He wanted to be there for his friend, and it meant he could be outside. But being so close to so many sweating people, coupled with Sirius’ and Peter’s cheering, became an overload on his senses and he began to feel overwhelmed.  
  
He tried focusing on James, circling the field on his broom, trying to catch sight of the golden Snitch, but even that began to make him dizzy, watching him go around, and around. He turned his eyes from James, and they naturally settled on Michael. He blushes, and then catches himself, wondering what was up with him? None of this made sense. He wanted to push it off as his wolf considering Michael as pack, but that didn’t make sense, because he didn’t get this feeling in his stomach, this fluttering feeling, whenever he was around his parents, or his friends. This was strictly a Michael thing… Perhaps he could speak to a teacher, maybe they would know what was up…  
  
After Quidditch practice came to a close, around Eight AM, Sirius, Peter and he climbed down the stairs from the bleachers to meet with James before he hit the showers.  
  
“That was a good first practice, team. If we keep playing like that, or better, there’s no way they can beat us. Now, hit the showers, you lot stink.” He laughs.  
  
“Speak for yourself!” Shouts James, as he heads to the locker room, flagged by Sirius and Peter. Remus stays behind, and gets that funny feeling in his gut when Michael smiles at him. He wills himself not to blush this time.  
  
“James has real potential.” He tells Remus, wiping sweat from his brow. “I don’t doubt he’ll make a great addition to our team.”   
  
Remus smiles. “He really is doing a good job. I’ve only seen him play a few times, but I think he’s even already making improvements, being on a team, instead of his one on one drills with Sirius.”  
  
Michael nods thoughtfully. “I think, given a few more practices, he can be a great Quidditch player.” Remus nods, and watches him head for the showers, too.  
  
He actively ignores the light feeling in his chest, and admonishes his wolf for acting so strange. He heads to breakfast, knowing his friends would catch up in a few minutes.  
  
Lily was already at the table, dishing herself some oatmeal, an upset look on her face. Remus sits down next to her, and begins to serve himself some eggs, his sweater sleeve firmly over his hand.  
  
“Are you okay?” He asks, voice pitched low so no one else could listen in. She shakes her head. “Would you like to talk about it?”  
  
She shakes her head again. “Not yet. Not here.”   
  
Remus nods, understanding all too well. “I’m here if you need anything.” He lets her know.  
  
She nods, and turns back to her breakfast. She finished up, and quickly stands to leave as Snape enters, soon followed by Remus’ three friends.   
  
“I’ll find you later, maybe we can work on Potions.” And she flees, angling her shoulder so it won’t brush her sallow-faced friend.  
  
Remus sits there, staring at his eggs, wondering what could have happened between her and Snape. He thought the two of them made up?  
  
Sirius sits down next to him, and across from Peter and James. “I cannot believe how effortlessly that practice went!” James cries out, loading his plate with eggs, and sausage and toast. “I just know the first game of the season will be amazing!”   
  
Sirius nods, mouth full, before swallowing. “You did brilliant, mate, I can’t believe how quickly you caught that snitch every time!”  
  
Remus smiles, watching his friend’s antics.  
  
He never did find Lily, though he did look for her several times, even asking her roommates if they’ve seen her, which they hadn’t. He decides she probably didn’t want to be found, and he left it at that, and decided to study in his dorm. They’d be having their first Transfiguration test tomorrow, and even though he’s been able to turn his beetle into a button for the last two weeks, he still decides to practice. He already had an absent day this month. Their first month back! He refused to fall behind, he wouldn’t let his curse cause him to be incompetent.  
  
————  
  
Sirius was walking back from the library. The three of them were taking turns on who would study, tonight was his turn. They read through all the books they had previously found, and so Sirius had taken the invisibility cloak back to the restricted section again.  
  
He found a few promising ones, though they still hadn’t decided one what they were going to do. They very well couldn’t buy him a sheep dog, and smuggle it in. They was far too risky. But James kept insisting that there had to be something more, that this was their only lead.  
  
“Well, we can’t very well turn into animals!” Sirius scoffs.  
  
“I know that, but what other lead do we have? We know that Remus will attack us if we go in there, but maybe a cat? We wouldn’t have to smuggle a cat in.” James says, though he doesn’t sound very convincing himself.  
  
“A cat. A cat, James? Cats don’t like regular dogs, let alone wolves! Are you mad?” Sirius exclaims.   
  
“I don’t know! It’s the only thing we have so far. You find something else, and then maybe I’ll change my mind!”   
  
So there he was, trudging back to the Gryffindor Common Room, several heavy text books weighing his bag down, when he hears something, much like what he heard a few weeks ago. Snivellus and Lily arguing in a classroom.   
  
“Perhaps you don’t want to be my friend anymore!” Snape snaps.   
  
“What on Earth are you on about? When did I ever say that?” Lily cries.  
  
“Well, you’ve been hanging around Lupin and his gang an awful lot recently.”  
  
“I can have more than one friend, Severus.” Lily shouts.  
  
“Well then, who says I want you to be? You can either choose, do you want to be friends with me, your longest friend, or them. Come on, I’m waiting.”  
  
Lily huffs out in outrage. How dare he make her choose!   
  
“This is madness, Severus! Why should you make me choose who I associate with, while you’re still out there using derogatory slang?” Lily quips.  
  
Snape growls. “That is no where near the same thing!”   
  
“You’re right! What you’re doing is worse!” Lily says.  
  
“I don’t have to listen to this.” Snape rages, and flies through the door, letting it slam shut behind him.  
  
Lily sags against an empty seat, sighing. She refuses to cry. She did nothing wrong. She’s supposed to be making friends, and Severus had no place to tell her otherwise.

  
Sirius pokes his head inside. “Are you okay?”  
  
Lily looks up, and sighs in relief when she sees its only Sirius. She shrugs. “He’s just angry. He’ll come around in a few days.” She looks far more exhausted than any twelve-year old should.  
  
Sirius comes over and sits down with her. “I didn’t ask about him, I honestly couldn’t care less about what he does. I asked about you.”  
  
Lily sighs. “I don’t know. Part of me is really tired of the constant divide. He is always trying to make me choose who to be friends with, who to talk to, and he always finds some reason to not like who I choose. At first it was because Alice wasn’t good at Transfiguration, saying that I shouldn’t associate with someone who had trouble turning matches into needles, but then it was Marlene, saying I shouldn’t befriend someone so stuck up, when that wasn’t the case. She isn’t stuck up, she’s actually really down to earth, she’s just really anxious, and didn’t know how to control her anxiety, so she pretended she didn’t care about anyone, except her roommates. And then, and this is what takes the cake, he said I should stop talking to Mary, sweet, little Mary, because she is muggleborn. Could you believe that? I AM MUGGLEBORN!” She rants, practically shaking.  
  
“What the Hell?” Sirius whispers. Could he really be that thick?  
  
“And of course, it didn’t get better when I befriended Remus, and you lot. He despises you. Though I didn’t understand why Remus, I could understand with you and Potter, because of the pranks. But why Remus? He didn’t necessarily do anything. But then I realized it was because he saw him as weaker. Which is not true at all. Remus is the strongest person I know! There are adults who can’t go through what he does-” She catches herself, but it’s too late. She already let out that there was something different about him, and that was all Sirius needed to confirm what he and his friends were suspicious about.  
  
“Lily… Is… Is Remus a-a werewolf?” Sirius hesitantly asks.  
  
Lily begins crying at once. “I am a rubbish friend, I cannot believe I just did that!” She sobs, body curling in on herself.  
  
“No, Lily, you’re okay. We have already suspected for quite some time. We just don’t know how to breach the subject with him. Remus is such a quiet, private person, we’re afraid of upsetting him, or offending him.”

  
Lily sniffles, wiping her eyes. “You really should tell him. He’s afraid you lot will hate him if you find out.”  
  
“We don’t hate him. I admit, we all had our prejudices, but we quickly put those behind us. If Remus, kind, and caring Remus, could be a werewolf, then it’s obvious that everything we knew about werewolves is a lie! They aren’t bloodthirsty savages! Of course, there are a few, like Greyback, but not Remus, and certainly not every werewolf.”  
  
Lily nods. “You should tell him that, not me.” She smiles. “He really needs to hear that coming from his best mates.”  
  
Sirius nods. “Not yet, but soon. James has a plan.”  
  
Lily nods, she senses she’s not supposed to know, so she doesn’t ask what said plan is.  
  
“Let’s go back to the Common Room, yeah? It’s getting late, and we don’t want to get caught out of bed by Filch.”   
  
Lily nods, and accepts his offered hand, allowing herself to be pulled to her feet.  
  
They silently head back, Sirius saying the password, and the Fat Lady letting them through the portrait hole.  
  
“I’ll see you in classes tomorrow.” She says, before heading up to the girl’s dormitory.  
  
Sirius waves, before heading to his own dorm. Inside, Remus is already passed out, crumpled homework all over his bed. Sirius quietly goes over, and gently collects the parchment, and smoothing them out, he places it on the nightstand. Remus did the same thing for him during exams, so he might as well return the favor.  
  
“There you are, Sirius, we were beginning to think you were caught in the restricted section.” James whispers.  
  
Sirius shakes his head, and pulls out their books, and they begin the long night of reading.  
  
——————  
  
Sirius is very groggy the next morning in Transfiguration, he and James stayed up until Three AM studying, but to no avail, the animal thing is still the only lead. Sirius hasn’t told James about his talk with Lily last night, and how she confirmed their suspicions, he wanted to wait until Remus wasn’t around, so there was no chance of him overhearing.  
  
“The art of Transfiguration is rather difficult, a show of hands of everyone who struggled with this assignment.” Several hands raise in the air, and the most shocking was Professor McGonagall’s own. “Oh yes, even I, as a second year, struggled with transforming the beetle into a simple black button. But something so simple as this,” She waves her wand through the air and taps the beetle on Peter’s desk, turning it into a button, “Can aid in something as complicated as this.” She says, and then effortlessly changed into a small, tabby cat, with rectangles around the eyes, much like McGonagall’s own glasses.  
  
There was excited murmuring around the room. Yes, she did this during the beginning of last semester, but it was still so awe-inspiring.  
  
James spins around in his chair and turns to Sirius, eyebrows raised, and a fire in his eyes. Sirius’ own face mimics his, because he knows what James is thinking. Werewolves don’t harm other animals, unless out of necessity. McGonagall Transformed into an animal. Why hadn’t they thought of this before! They could be Animagi! That’s how they could help him!  
  
“The art of becoming an Animagus is no walk in the park, yes, I can see it in your eyes, the curiosity, the wonder, and if you wish to become one, it will take years and years of practice, and dedication, and I must warn you, if this is something you wish to pursue in a few years, arrangements can be made, but I would do so with caution, for the art of becoming an Animagus is difficult, and not everyone who attempts… Succeeds.” She warns. “We will learn further about the art of Animagus next year, please, everyone, quiet down. Now, Miss Evans, would you like to demonstrate turning your beetle into a button?”  
  
——————  
  
That night, they could hardly wait until Remus fell asleep. Even Peter caught on the what they were thinking about, his chubby face was filled with a nervous determination.  
  
When Remus finally nods off, they pile into the bathroom once more, before closing the door tightly. James mumbles a spell under his breath. “A muffling Charm. I learned it two nights ago. We can never be too careful.” The other two nod.  
  
“I talked with Lily last night. She confirmed that Remus is a werewolf.” Sirius tells them after a minute.  
  
“So… Are we really doing this?” Peter asks.  
  
“It’s going to be difficult.” James tells them, and even though he tries to not let it show, they can see how nervous he is. “We’ll have to put a lot of effort into it, and a lot of sleepless nights, probably.”  
  
“You heard Professor McGonagall, too… it is really d-dangerous.” Peter gulps.  
  
“But doesn’t Remus deserve this? Doesn’t he deserve something nice, that could potentially make the transformations easier on him?” James asks. “Look at everything he’s done for us. He helps us study, he puts his entire being into perfecting these pranks, and he’s our best mate. He’s suffering every month, while we’re in bed sleeping at night? He’s tearing himself apart!”  
  
Sirius nods. “We need to do this. For Remus.” He stands. “Peter, you should stay here and make sure if Remus wakes up, that he doesn’t know where we went. Make up some lie, yeah? James, lets go look through the library, see if we can hunt down a book or two on Animagi.”   
  
James nods, scooping his cloak up, and opening the door, the three of them exit, and Peter heads for his bed, and antsy, anxious look on his face. He nods, and watches them leave.  
  
——————  
  
Remus is early to Transfiguration the next morning, hoping maybe she could answer a few of his questions about what was going on with him. He knows realistically he would have a better chance of getting some answers from Professor Godfrey, but he didn’t trust her like he trusted Professor McGonagall.   
  
He knocks, and enters when permitted. “Ah, Remus. It’s nice to see you again. How are you?” She asks, placing the next lessons materials out on the desks. He begins to help her, as he struggles to gain the courage to ask his questions.  
  
“I… Um… I had a few questions… I wasn’t sure if maybe you would know the answers to them?” He gets out, already feeling the tips of his ears turning red.  
  
“And what are these questions?” She asks, raising a thing eyebrow.  
  
Remus takes a deeps breath. “Things have been changing with my-my wolf recently… I’m not sure what’s going on.. I-”  
  
“Perhaps this is a conversation better had with our Matron, Madam Pomfrey.” McGonagall interrupts. “She’ll know all about these changes, I guarantee.”  
  
Remus wasn’t sure why he felt embarrassed, but he did. He nodded, and continued to place the caged birds onto the desks.  
  
————————  
  
After classes, the four of them head to their favorite spot, and bask in the late sunlight. Remus puts the finishing touches on his Charm’s essay, and listens to James and Peter roughhousing.   
  
“Be careful.” He calls, watching them get a little too close to the lake.  
  
“I don’t think they can hear you.” Sirius says, as he, too, notices that they’re getting closer and closer to the lake.  
  
Remus cringes as James teeters half-hazard on the edge of the lake, before skittering around Pete, who wasn’t as lucky, and tips backwards, eyes wide in horror, as James cries out, and Peter falls into the lake.  
  
Immediately, the other two are up from their spots under the tree, and racing forward towards where their friend went under, along with a Ravenclaw fifth-year, who mutters the lighting spell, trying to see beneath the dark water. They try and catch sight of his form under the water, but they can’t see anything. It was pitch black underneath the surface.  
  
James reaches his arm underneath the water trying to see if he can feel him, or maybe for Peter to grab onto, but nothing.   
  
“We should get a Professor-” Sirius starts, panic obvious on his face, but suddenly, the water begins to shift, back and forth, becoming more forceful, splashing their knees, and then Peter is above the surface, gasping for air, drenched to the bone, being held by a giant squid tentacle!  
  
The other three, and the Ravenclaw gape, as their friend is gently set back on land. Peter gasps a few more times, coughing up some water, as the tentacle retreats, before the shock wears off, and James is the first to recover, pouncing Peter.  
  
“We thought you were a goner!” He shouts.  
  
Remus is the next to move, he walks over and smacks them both on the back of their heads. “I told you to be careful! Do you know how stupid and dangerous that was?”   
  
“Ow!” James cries out, rubbing the back of his head. “He didn’t die!”  
  
“Is that what you were aiming for?” Remus retorts, frowning.  
  
“No… Okay, maybe it was a little dumb, but at least he’s okay? And we know that the giant squid IS real.”  
  
Remus sighs, going back to his book, as the other three enthusiastically discuss what had just happened, and the Ravenclaw drifts off, an awed look on her face.  
  
Remus was putting off talking to Madam Pomfrey, he already felt awkward enough talking to Professor McGonagall, he would be downright mortified talking about these changes with her.  
  
He enjoys getting closer to Michael, though, and he doesn’t want the pleasant, tingly feeling in his belly to ever go away, even if he did wish he knew the cause. He found himself trying to pick Michael out in the crowded Great Hall, and it always made him very happy when Michael would ask him for his opinion on subjects, like he really considered Remus’ opinion on things.  
  
That night Remus couldn’t help but let his mind wander back to the Quidditch Captain. This evening was particularly warm, and he stayed to watch the Quidditch team practice, while Sirius and Peter had detention.   
  
“Already?” He asks, an exasperated grin on his face.  
  
“This Ravenclaw was being rude, we had to show her that that’s not something you can do, and get away with.” Sirius says, like it was common knowledge.  
  
That night, several of the Quidditch team had taken their shirts off, including Michael. Remus’ stomach went crazy, and he found himself blushing a deep scarlet, almost an exact match of Gryffindor scarlet.  
  
He still found himself going back to that memory. Michael is well toned, and Remus found himself imagining running his hands across the rippling muscles in his back, before he could stop himself. He shakes his head, and rolls over onto his front, burying his face in his pillow, and quietly groaning, and ignoring the strange pulsing feeling in his groin area. That’s a thought for another day.  
  
He just wants to understand the changes to everything, but he isn’t ready to talk to Madam Pomfrey.  
  
He sighs rolling back onto his back, and doing his best to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed!! I struggled a little bit with this chapter, but I think it turned out oki!
> 
> My tumblr ((space--boy)) is always open to song suggestions, questions about this fic, talk about wolfstar, or any other fandom, or anything else! You're always welcome!
> 
> Constructive criticism is encouraged! I'm always trying to improve! Thank you to everyone who read/bookmarked/reviewed/left kudos!! It really means a lot to me! <3
> 
> ~Elliott


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